With five fruits and vegetables a day, you have to find a way to vary the food a little, otherwise you always end up eating the same meals. But there are certain foods that stink a little more out of your mouth than others and today we’re going to dwell on those filthy peas, because they are clearly the worst of all, and I have arguments supporting.
1. They make you fart
Already we will start with the most obvious thing of all: peas make you fart and not just a little. So you always have to plan when you can eat it without risking ruining a date, a birthday or a funeral. I speak with experience.
2. The small skin around is a bit gross
When they are undercooked they are too hard, when they are overcooked they come off on their own, when you eat them the next day they are completely dry… Concretely, there is no time when you can eat this part of the small peas by experiencing a form of pleasure, a reason that I consider sufficient to stop eating them.
3. You can choke on it because it’s too small
Do you know how many people choke on a pea every year? Me neither, but I’m sure it’s huge, like 10 people, just in the Vaucluse. It’s too small to be chewed, too big to be swallowed whole, in short it’s to food what horse riding is to sport: useless.
4. Aesthetically it’s not amazing
Sorry but a little green ball like that looks like a big booger, it doesn’t make you want to be eaten at all. If you find it appetizing, you are probably fans of the group Kyo, I even have a feeling that you are the drummer.
5. It’s too hard to eat
We don’t know whether to take out a spoon or a fork to eat this crap, we’ve even seen people try to drink it with a straw, so lost are they in the face of this enigmatic food that defies the laws of the culinary arts and thermodynamics.
6. They all taste the same, it’s boring
Since the arrival of Dragibus on the market we can no longer afford to make small balls of the same color with the same taste, it is a cruel lack of originality and we must learn to innovate at some point.
7. Stores sell them canned with carrots, so rotten to eat on their own
If to sell a food you have to mix it with something else it’s rather badly crossed and necessarily the peas are in this list of crap stuff that you can’t eat alone. I say it and sign it, eating peas is clearly a passion of people who are serial killers.
8. It’s super annoying to remove from the stem when shelling them
For those who go even further and decide to buy them fresh and shell them themselves, there is an additional impractical aspect to the preparation of the food. Dozens of injuries each year, far more than opening oysters or doing base jumping, not to mention that it takes forever to open to get enough to fill a plate.
9. The only time it’s useful is when you have a sprain
Concretely, the only real moment in your life when you can enjoy having peas at home is when you have to put cold on a sprain. And again it has to be a frozen bag, it doesn’t work at all with fresh peas and even less with a can. Again I speak from experience.
10. It’s super annoying when it falls off the plate
An incident that happens statistically once in two spoonfuls, it rolls to the other end of the room and we don’t find it for three months. And when it does, it becomes all mummified and so disgusting that you don’t even dare look it in the eye.
11. It’s fattening
Ah, you didn’t see that one bunch of dishonest people coming, peas are like corn and have a lot of calories (80 calories per 100 grams anyway). So on this account you might as well eat cheese, because it doesn’t even serve to clear your conscience.
12. It comes out the same when you throw them up
And if that’s not proof that it’s a trick of the devil, I don’t know what you need: no normally constituted food is not digested by the human body. Apart from fondue, which remains, I think, the worst food one could ever have to throw up. Yes, I speak from experience.