The human body is a real madness. He is able to do amazing things like remembering your CAF beneficiary number or calling your ex when you’re too drunk (really the most boring thing our body does, without any explanation, no…). But he’s also capable of doing a little gross stuff that will leave you a little perplexed about your body envelope. It’s not to turn you against him, but frankly, you need to know what he’s doing behind your back.
1. Some people get exploding head syndrome
A bit of a traumatic experience: some people are indeed victims of sound or visual hallucinations when they fall asleep or wake up, which result in the sound of explosions, gunshots or cries. This phenomenon, called parasomnia, can create a lot of stress and anxiety, as you can imagine: even if this disorder is benign, believing that you are being attacked while sleeping is quite terrifying. In any case, it is necessary to consult, because these hallucinations can be the symptom of epilepsy. In any case, not cool on the part of our body to do this to us when we are already sleep deprived!
2. After surgery, the moved organs may not work for a while
If you’ve ever had stomach surgery, you’ll now understand why they wait until you fart before they feed you. As the nurses explain, this lets you know that the digestive system has started again, because after surgery it is not uncommon for the organs to shut down for a little while. Following abdominal surgery, for example, one can end up with a paralytic ileus, that is to say a temporary stoppage of intestinal peristalsis, which allows the contents of the intestines to be sent from the front to the back. Yes, it does not make you dream, so no big burger after such an intervention, the consequences may not please you too much.
3. Stomach acidity could be very dangerous if you didn’t produce mucus
The stomach, in addition to digesting our kebabs back from the evenings, is a truly incredible organ that produces 1.5 liters of highly concentrated hydrochloric acid daily. This allows it to maintain its pH between 1 and 3, which is very acidic (knowing that the neutral pH is 7, thanks to the chemistry lessons in 3rd grade). Our stomach cells would therefore be in great danger if they did not have to protect themselves from these terrible attacks. But a chance: the human body is well made and these cells produce mucus which prevents stomach acid from getting high from the inside. Honestly, isn’t that science too crazy??
4. You can die of a toothache
Children are often told not to eat too much candy to avoid cavities, but the same goes for adults too. A poorly treated cavity that becomes infected can have serious health consequences. Already, you risk developing a very painful toothache. But if left untreated, the infection can spread to other parts of the body: the bacteria can travel to the heart and cause inflammation of the endocardium or even to the brain and cause a deadly abscess. Yeah, it’s not kidding yeah, so we take sugar out of our lives (or we reduce it, at least).
5. Your body can kill you at any time without warning.
The body is well done, but not too much anyway, because all the time, it tells us “No, frankly lazy today” and presto, we are already out of this world. The aneurysm often goes unnoticed until it ruptures which often leads to death, an allergen never encountered can cause a very serious allergic reaction such as anaphylaxis and cause death… Yeah, it’s not phew. And to say that the government do nothing ! Incompetents, pff!!!
6. 20 to 30% of oocytes have abnormalities and are therefore not viable
I am speaking to all people with a uterus: imagine that even if you were planning to conceive a child (which is already a very bad idea, I strongly advise against it), know that no matter who whatever you are, chances are that your attempt will not succeed. In fact, 20 to 30% of oocytes (you know, the small female reproductive cells that then produce eggs) carry chromosomal abnormalities, which mean that the embryo cannot develop properly and will therefore be rejected by the body on its own. . Don’t panic if it doesn’t work right away, it’s another blow to the human body playing a little prank on you.
7. We produce between one and two liters of saliva a day
Imagine that you can fill one or two bottles of Evian with your saliva. Two fucking bottles, that makes me phew (and it deeply disgusts me with the human race too).
8. 60% of cancers are not preventable
According to the 2019 annual report of the National Cancer Institute, 40% of cancers could be avoided by limiting the external aggressions that promote their development (such as alcohol, tobacco, asbestos, ultraviolet rays, people who keep their shoes at your house, etc.). But mathematically, 60% of cancers are not preventable because they depend on genetic predispositions or simply on the chance of cell multiplication (factors for which unfortunately nothing can be done). So no thanks to the human body.
9. 8% of our DNA is related to viruses
Incredible anecdote to bring out at all your parties: out of our 3.5 billion base pairs constituting our genome, approximately 300 million are of viral origin. Which means overall that 8% of the human genome derives from retroviruses. These endogenous viruses have been integrated via the genomes of the gametes and transmitted hereditarily to all the descendants of the host species, since the origin of the vertebrates 500 million years ago. If you have understood everything I have just said, contact me in the comments so that I can offer you your annual pass to the Cité des Sciences in Paris.
10. Our gut reorganizes when we switch sides in bed
Have you ever felt your stomach “drop” when you turn on your side in bed? Well, it’s completely normal, it’s because your intestines (those very intelligent people with multiple neurons) are reorganizing themselves at that time to function properly, all on their own like grown-ups. At the same time, it’s quite logical when you know that the intestines are the largest collection of neurons, besides the brain. In short, if you are criticized for eating for four, argue that it is for the good of your neurons that you are doing this.
11. Initially, our mouth and anus are one.
Explanation not easy but worth the detour. When the “gastrula” stage of animal embryonic development is created an opening called “Blastopore”. This opening makes it possible to connect the archenteron (the primitive intestine) and the exterior. The blastopore will become a mouth first in protostomes (bilaterian animals) and an anus first in deuterostomes (a branch of bilaterian animals). The missing element will form later in both species during embryogenesis. Like what, we were all ass heads at the start, so why are we bothering with the differences today huh?? In any case, I understand why I didn’t do S in my baccalaureate.
12. Your body knows all the answers for your SVT exams but won’t give them to you.
That filthy bastard.