When we grow up, our perception of the world changes. Already because we become myopic. Then because from a universe split in two where the bad guys and the good guys are very different and where the classiest reason is always the best, we arrive in another universe where nothing is too clear and where the bad guys often have good reasons to be mean when the good guys are pissing off with their moral shit. And childhood dreams crumble.
1.James Bond
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Petit: “I really want to be him, he has class and he is unsinkable! »
Adult: “Hmmm… Isn’t this guy a bit macho, drunk, stupid and hyper violent?” »
2.Harry Potter
Child: “Wow, he’s so cool, he’s got amazing powers and he’s too normal, but he’s going to become exceptional. I want to be like him, he’s having too much fun, it’s phew!” »
Adult: “Uh… Who exactly is this insufferable little prick, a little useless at everything but who is ultra-boosted by Dumbledore and can even choose his school?” I would give him a pie. »
3. Renart Chenapan
Child: “Oh damn how cool is Renart! He rides motorcycles, flirts with vixens, smokes fags, robs people and PLUS he has a cool maxi monkey buddy. I want to be him!!!!! »
Adult: “Hmmm… So the guy smokes, rips off his uncle who offers to take him in and a job when he arrives in town, sexually harasses a vixen. This is called A BIG CON. »
4.Bart Simpson
Child: “Oh fuck too rebellious cool he doesn’t give a damn about lessons and besides he skates and he does bullshit but he’s too smart, I want to be him!” »
Adult: “In my opinion, Bart Simpson, today, he sells warranties at a Walmart checkout when he’s not in jail. »
5. Hal in Malcolm
Child: “Why is my father not like that??? »
Adult: “But he’s completely irresponsible, that jerk.” He absolutely does not take care of his children, rollerblades all day and is totally resigned. We should take custody of him. »
6. Scar in The Lion King
Child: “What a bastard! HE KILLED MUFASA! TO HAVE THE POWER! HE IS SO WICKED!!!!! »
Adult: “Well, so if we sum up the parents, they had two kids: they called one Scar and the other Mufasa, already you don’t feel that there is any favouritism. Then, Mufasa spends his time humiliating Scar who is seriously discriminated against. Then Scar, besides the hyenas, who talks to him? Not without dec’ he deserved Mufasa. »
7. Xavier in the Spanish Inn
Child: “Me too later I want to be a writer and go live in Barcelona with lots of cool people like Xavier! »
Adult: “But in real life when you think about it, this guy is ultra dope. He goes to Spain he does not speak a word neither at the beginning nor at the end. He cheats on his girl as soon as he gets the chance. Their roommate is hell, like you touch other people’s food you get yelled at. There’s no sharing, nothing. And since his family is rich, he can easily afford to decline a job. »
8. Goku
Child: “TOO POWERFULSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! »
Adult: “Um, the guy has a wife and two kids and he spends his time, but like ALL THE TIME traveling the galaxy to fight with other people. Would it be possible to put him in prison? »
9. Luke Skywalker
Child: “Fuck the guy is going to become too powerful a Jedi. I want to be him. I want to be him. I want to be him. »
Adult: “He has the charisma of an oyster. Besides, he doesn’t give a fuck that his aunt and uncle got shot. And he disobeys everyone, Obi Wan, Yoda, everyone. And he doesn’t even respect his father. »
10. Bagheera
Child: “Best mother in the world. »
Adult: “Ah, but he’s actually a guy… ????????? OH FUCK ! »
12. Gremlins
Child: “I HAVE TOO LITTLE! I DON’T WANT GREMLINS IN MY HOME!!! »
Adult: “But they’re really cool, the Gremlins!” They spend their time at the bar playing cards while smoking cigarettes and boozing! They are geniuses! »
