Top 11 worst people to watch football with

You’ve been waiting for it all day, thinking about it and thinking about it again: the evening game on TV. Optimal conditions, new batteries in the remote control, no children within 100 meters. A good opportunity to gather around a few liters of fresh hops, a lukewarm and too greasy pizza, and a necessarily giant screen. But no. No, because there is always one to come and spoil your little pleasure. The big heavy, the buddy of a buddy. On the bench of the accused, 10 people to avoid so that this television pleasure does not turn into a painful effort of self-control.

“The Neutral”

He came because he was vaguely told about cold beers. He is not for either team, but ” rather for both » and sends « good game ” anything goes. He is for ” the beautiful game, that’s all and claims it. Implying that we, it is well known, what we want to see is rotten matches with faults and no goal. He’s a bit like the Pierre Coubertin of the football match, honest and full of common sense, but not a supporter. Neither Jedi nor Sith. Neither OM nor PSG. Neither Blues nor England. Not human.

Top 11 worst people to watch football with

“The expert”

He knows everything about everything. All the rules, all the players, all the facets, all the details of each action. The clod of earth that blew up the balloon? He saw it yes. The action of the 54th minute which is necessarily “the turning point of the match”. You suspect him of being related to Charles Biétry. But you can also guess from the few anecdotes he shares that he learned this morning’s team by heart. You advise him to open a blog. And never to leave his office again.

“The invested supporter”

He’s watching the same game as you but he obviously sees it differently. He sees fouls against his team all the time, an international plot against his-club-that’s-obvious, and goals disallowed in spades. The first 5 minutes of the match he made you laugh. The other 85, much less. Note, you had to be wary of the guy who arrived with the scarf, jersey and tap shoes bearing the image of his favorite team.

1670706890 799 Top 11 worst people to watch football with

“The Unbeliever”

He doesn’t believe it. The whole game. “How can he miss this? », “How can the referee let this go? »or “Is there really more pizza?” » and “How did my drink get warm so quickly?” ». The unbeliever is the guy who knows the truth and is surprised that others don’t see it.

“The King of Advertising”

His moment is halftime. During the rest of the players, he proves to all the others that he knows all the ads by heart, especially the ads for men, that he loves watching TV like a madman, but also that he has a good memory. He hates Canal Plus, their interviews and their halftime stats. He dreams of going to live in the US, a paradise for advertising. It is mainly because of him that everyone will urinate during half-time.

1670706891 592 Top 11 worst people to watch football with

“The Egocentric”

He doesn’t believe at all that you guys got together just to watch a game. No, he knows that deep down you came for him and tonight he decided to spoil you. With a joke by game fact, he unfolds his usual one man show. He would almost expect applause on his best ones. In any case, the ones he believes to be the best.


He’s the one who puts himself in everyone’s place. It goes from the attacker who missed the target “In his place, I would have at least framed…”coach “who should switch to 4-4-2”to the striker who passes naked on the lawn which “should have tanned a little earlier”. As a good chameleon, he takes on the color of the winning team or that of his host. It depends, he’s not looking.

1670706893 544 Top 11 worst people to watch football with

“The (very) noisy”

He lives the match in comments and songs. He couldn’t get a place for the stadium and it shows. It does not get better after the beers of the 1st half. He only knows one song, and not all of it yet. Never mind, he will interpret it by lowering the volume for the words of which he is not sure. He is also the one who chants on all releases “Thing thing, in-..-…” in front of your kids, delighted.

“The Hobbyist”

He knows nothing about football, and does not hide it. His first question “Okay, so who are the blues, who are the reds? » has the merit of situating the level of the evening. He won’t stop there, he will obviously wonder about Zidane’s absence and ask what an offside is. As offside is easy to understand but impossible to explain, you spend a rather painful evening thinking about the next good game you will see alone.

1670706894 730 Top 11 worst people to watch football with

“The Moralizer”

It reminds you that football is just a game and that there are other problems in life than“a piece of leather that does not pass a chalk line”. Certainly. When he sees a player crying over his defeat, he will be ironic saying “that he is certainly crying because the child who made him his pair of shoes could not blow out his sixth candle. ». True no doubt, but mood breaker.

“The child from 3 to 12 years old”

Yours, or worse, that of a friend. Because even when he says he wants messing around with dad“, after 5 minutes of play he starts to play with the remote control, puts his hand in the hot pizzas, and drops what should not fall on the new carpet… He will also surely ask you to go to the toilet and makes you miss the 1-0. Then the 2-0 at bedtime. Dirty kid.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.