Top 11 verbs you never know how to conjugate, because you’re bad

French is really a language of reptilians. The proof, although we know it, we always have doubts about certain verbs, certain conjugations… Let’s do justice to these rotten verbs that put us to shame in society (even if none of your friends can conjugate them either, they will point, laughing very hard and saying to you “you’re just a piece of shit Michel, A BIG SHIT”, unless of course your name is not Michel, in which case your friends must not really be your friends).

1. Fry

There is a Masonic conspiracy about this verb. Can you explain to me why it is only conjugated in the first three singular persons? So that means technically that if I’m a crab and the father of two crab children and the three of us are thrown into a bath of boiling oil, I don’t have the right to say “We’re shivering!”. What is this racism? #revolution

Top 11 verbs you never know how to conjugate, because you're bad

2. Shut up

In the present of the indicative still passes, but in the compound past, one begins to sweat. “J’ai tu” is a linguistic paradox that sows confusion. As for the past tense “He would have tu” or the imperfect of the subjunctive “que nous tussions”, it is of course not possible to formulate them naturally, fortunately we do not even know that these times exist.

3. Rain

Quite sectarian, this verb to which we would like to grant some liberties nevertheless remains limited to the use of the third person singular. Whereas if I pee on a hydrangea, it would be appropriate to say that “I’m raining”.

Top 11 verbs you never know how to conjugate, because you're bad

4. Sew

I sew, you sew, he sews. So far so good but it is often a bit difficult to let go of the “We sew, you sew, they sew”. The logic that we say “We sew” (especially since in the future we say “we sew”). Which is not French so abstain. If you have any doubts, prefer the verb “to knit”, which is much easier to use. And if you are not 92 years old, prefer another activity such as coloring, crosswords, or modeling clay.

5. Acquire

This dirty verb fdp (yeah, it’s defamation, but who cares, we have a good lawyer in Topito) has the bad taste to be conjugated first with an “i”: “I acquire…” then to blow it up: “We acquire”. Worse still, anyone who is a little drunk will no longer be able to say “I have acquired a lot of knowledge” but will sink shamefully into the drunken language fault: “I have acquired stuffed with chicks”. Luckily, the drunk friend in front of you isn’t listening to you anymore and is just strategizing not to vomit on you before the end of your sentence.

6. Follow

When you realize that “I am a little underage girl in the street” can both be the affirmation of your identity as a little girl under 18 positioned in the street, but also express the action of an old man which follows a child in the hope of making him listen to songs by Michel Sardou. SHOCK.

7. Sit down

Well there are clearly two schools. Those who say “I sit down” (as the Nouvel Obs conjugator stipulates), and those who say “I sit down” (the only option for the Figaro conjugator). Therefore, I conclude that people on the left opt ​​for the first option, and people on the right the second.

8. Fear

In the present everything is going well, we stay on a basic “I fear, you fear…”. But logic would dictate that we take a dangerous step towards a “I feared” or even an unfortunate “I feared”. In truth, the “craignis” is appropriate only for the simple past tense, which is never used again in everyday language for fear of passing for the spiritual son of Stéphane Bern.

9. Solve

Attention, we arrive in full fourth dimension of the French language: “I solve” vs. “We solve”. In addition, in writing we would be tempted to add a “d” since “resolve”, so as in “sewing” we could write “I solve”. BUT NO IT’S NOT FRENCH, BUFFON YOU CAN’T EVEN WRITE.

10. Believe

Another vast risk of notorious misunderstanding. Indeed, if for example I claim to have been abducted by extraterrestrials as a child and that nobody ever took me seriously and that the extraterrestrials come back to invade the world, then I will be able to say: “I am believed”. The problem is that in this case, the extraterrestrial who raised me between 5 and 8 years old and who doesn’t speak the language very well risks taking me for sushi and eating me.

11. Cum

The problem with foutre is that this slang term reserved for colloquial exchanges is not compatible with more refined conjugation tenses such as the simple past or the past anterior. So even if it sounds right you can’t say “I punched him in the face” otherwise you’re screwed.

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