We love them, we worship them, we would like to be like them, but just guys, I remind you that these fictional characters are fucking bastards doubled as big bastards. It is high time to finally denounce this collective hallucination.
1. Walter White in Breaking Bad
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How can you want this guy to get away with it when he’s made himself the head of an infernal drug trade while killing people? Okay he has cancer but obviously Walter White is a first class motherfucker. The worst is that the fans of the series have rather developed a hatred against the character of Skyler who nevertheless tries to fight against the shit of her husband (before participating in it, of course).
2. Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul
Obviously it is to him that we think in the continuity of Breaking Bad since Vince Gilligan granted him a prequel of genius in its own right: Better Call Saul. A brilliant lawyer of dubious character who gets bogged down in the darkest cases of drugs and organized gang scams. If the character is a delight of dishonesty, it remains objectively a beautiful swelling.
3. Bonnie and Clyde
Basically they are not fictional characters, but it goes without saying that Arthur Penn’s eponymous film with Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway made this murderous couple fucking famous and sexy. Gainsbourg’s song, the same. We are still talking about people who murdered 14 people. Certainly their fame comes largely from the bank robberies they committed during the Great Depression, but let’s not forget the morbid aspect of this little couple passionate about the trigger.
4. Dexter
So thank you it’s nice to be a useful serial killer for his small town but hey let’s be honest, Dexter deserves to go see a shrink after a while. No but where are we? Since when are we against the death penalty while finding that Dexter is a really moral character?
5. Tony Soprano in The Sopranos
At least unlike Dexter, the little Tony will have made the effort to see a shrink but damn it does not prevent him from doing a lot of crap reprehensible by law. You better idolize Laura Ingalls who is so much straighter in her boots.
6. The Joker
As much as we care a little about Batman, the Joker has his followers and there are many of them. Thanks to Heath Ledger among others, but Jack Nicholson too, and Joaquin Phoenix has completed making this character a symbol of rebellion adored and yet not very adorable.
7. Snape in Harry Potter
The team of people who excuse his behavior all because he was in love with Harry’s mother, I fuck you. Snape is a raw blooper who deserves no respect.
8. Michael Scott in The Office
OK, he’s clearly the best character in the series, he makes us laugh so badly as a boss, but he also touches us with his mediocrity. On the other hand, if we met him in life, we would have a hard time supporting him for more than 30 seconds as the guy is an interstellar ball.
9. Darth Vader
We have figurines, we have masks, we have replicas, we have films. But when did we start to see this character as a cool guy when he’s more or less the biggest bastard in the history of SF?
10. Daenerys Targaryen
The character has had such an influence that his first name has become fashionable in births in recent years. However, if you really think about it, the chick may well be nice at the start with her domesticated dragons, but not only do her little babies burn a lot of people who didn’t ask for anything and I remind you that she ends up totally freaking out.
11. The T-Rex in Jurassic Park
Hyper toxic this animal, I don’t understand why we find it so cool when Brachiosaurs are still really less hostile in their cohabitation with humans.
And above all, remember to brush your teeth for 3 minutes.