April 24 is the second round of presidential elections. And so, if you are over 18 years old (cross out the useless mentions):
1. You can’t vote every day, it’s about enjoying it
2. It’s going to be ugly anyway, so you have nothing better to do
3. The number of abstention, we have it from noon, there is no suspense
4. This may be the most important election since 58
5. This is an opportunity to look at the face of the vote assessors
6. Otherwise, election night will have less flavor
7. Because far-right against far-center-right, in reality, it’s too much thrills
8. At worst, it’s funnier to vote for Jul than to abstain
9. I gave you a power of attorney, so you better get moving.
10. You can collect small ballots to make paper casseroles afterwards
11. This is your chance to do some dirty stuff in the voting booth
12. How long has it been since you went to school?
13. When we announce the number of votes of your candidate on TV, it will be a bit like we are giving you a special videotape
14. There was a time when people fought to vote
15. Because you don’t want a facho in power
16. Because you don’t want a banker in power (but still vote for the banker)
17. Because voting rocks
This was an institutional advertising communication from the 1980s.
18. Because whether you vote or not, Pécresse will always have debts, so go vote
19. Because you love dragging things into places
20. Because after the vote, you can treat yourself to a pain au chocolat to congratulate you on having done your civic duty
21. Because later, you will be able to say: “I remember, when I had voted”, whereas “I remember, when I had not voted”, right away, it is less mouthful
22. If you don’t vote, all the lecturing jerks will piss you off and lecture you. Protect yourself
23. You can show off your brand new ID
24. Because the gesture of slipping your ballot into the ballot box is HIGHLY erotic
25. To save the guy who says “Voted!” and make it a rap remix
26. Because you love waiting in line, and it’s a great opportunity to indulge your passion
27. It’s still cooler to vote in the presidential elections than in the regional ones
28. It’s Free
29. You will have done at least 800 meters during the day, a record for a Sunday
30. Your horoscope says you will find love when you get out of the voting booth on Sunday
31. Because voting rhymes with buddy
32. Because you voted for Mélenchon who wanted to implement compulsory voting
33. In life, we have few opportunities to see that we form a good society
34. Because you can take a #Selfisoloir selfie and create buzz on social networks
35. To put on your new shoes: we’ll see them when you’re in the voting booth
36. To be able to say “only those who voted have the right to complain” and piss everyone off
37. To cover your back in case they make voting compulsory with retroactive effect
38. Because for once, you won’t get a bad grade on your report card
39. Because “urn” rhymes with “burne”
40. Because to vote is to give a little of your time to society, it’s to become one, for the space of a few seconds, with something that goes beyond you and which encompasses you, it’s to blend into an idea that transcends us is…
41. Because it’s getting boring staring at your living room wall for hours without doing anything.
42. The voting booth is deadly for pecho
43. You’re being chased by the police and it’s a good place to hide from the cops
44. Your toilet is clogged. Now, you can go pee in the mini toilets of the kindergarten
45. The atmosphere is electric at home: if you don’t go out, it’s going to end like a chainsaw massacre
46. Makes for a nice family outing
47. No, but what example do you want to give to your children, without dec? Do you think they wouldn’t like to vote?
48. At worst, you vote while splashing splash and it will make you feel like a pirate
But aim anyway please
49. With the global apocalypse brewing, it’s best to take advantage of every opportunity to do things you can’t do again afterwards.
50. Have you ever seen right-wingers up close? At the polling station, you will see some, they have sweaters on their shoulders
51. Have you ever seen leftists up close? At the polling station, you will see some, they wear sarouels
52. Have you ever seen centrists up close? At the polling station, you’ll see them, they always walk in the middle of the row
53. You will be able to observe the ballots that your baker takes to find out what she is voting for
54. Every time someone votes, a baby seal is saved and a tree is planted in the Amazon.
55. Anyway, they are printed the ballots, so it’s dead for the trees
56. Have you ever thought about all those unused newsletters that feel deprived of any social function? Have you ever thought about it?
57. You can test your false papers without risk
58. All the old people vote: why not start a career as a gigolo?
59. Because even if it pisses you off that your voice matters as much as that guy you heard say “it’s not what you think”, it matters even less if you don’t go.
60. You’re going to yell at the next president for 5 years so might as well choose him
61. You are the last bulwark against abstention, first party in France
62. To piss off your parents by voting against their candidate
Well, it depends on who they vote for…
63. Imagine if no one voted? Eh ? What would happen? Eh ?
64. Honestly, we’ve been banging the countryside for 6 months, as long as it’s not for nothing
65. If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for your dog who can’t vote
66. Your mother will be so proud of you
67. Your father too. Very proud
68. Story of being able to follow family discussions for the next 5 years
69. If you don’t vote, you won’t get a Christmas tax gift.
70. So that people don’t tell you that you didn’t vote in 2022 when you run for president in 2062
71. The Rock votes
72. At worst, you vote for yourself
73. If you don’t vote, Vianney will release a new album
74. We get bored giving you 100 reasons, it must be worth it
75. If you’re really anar, it’s more fun to shit in an envelope than not to vote
76. To prove you’re a left-wing anar, not a right-wing anar
77. To prove you’re a right-wing anar, not a left-wing anar
78. Because you always preferred White hat to White hat
79. You will be offered to do the counting, and it will be the first time you have been offered something in a long time
80. You vote well for Dancing with the stars when it pays off
81. Because you love the term “ballottage”
82. Young people don’t vote much, but you’re not like everyone else
83. 100% of hot girls will vote. Afterwards, it’s up to you to see where you stand
84. 100% of hot guys will vote. Afterwards, it’s up to you to see where you stand
85. Do you really prefer watching Turbo?
86. It’s that or clean up, you choose
87. It takes 20 minutes shower included
88. How long has it been since you talked to someone? If it is, you’re dead and you don’t even know it
89. If you vote, Topito offers you a candy
90. If you vote, Le Bonbon offers you a topito
(It’s wrong but you never know)
