You have already passed through these medium-sized cities, by train or to see family. They are the opposite of the most touristic cities in France. It often rains there, and even when the weather is nice it’s gray and it makes you want to cry. So, apart from making people sad, they serve no purpose at all. As there are more of us every day and parking spaces are becoming scarce, we thought we could kill two birds with one stone and shave some of them, just to see things a little clearer. Only, moving people, buying diggers, it takes time and money. So a choice had to be made. The people have spoken, let’s clear the way (and if we have to buy cars to fill them, we’re ready to do it, we don’t give a fuck).
A pioneer of “large housing estates” on the outskirts of Paris, Sarcelles embodies the archetype of the rotten suburbs in the collective imagination. Despite its efforts, the city retains a nasty reputation for hotbeds of miscellaneous facts and the modernism of its equipment clearly plays against it, the French still preferring old stones to the soulless equipment of “new cities”, especially when they are emblematic of rap. French. It is therefore considered an ugly city, unequivocally.
Arnaud Desplechin tried hard to save the soul of the city with Roubaix, a light but that wasn’t enough… Red brick as far as the eye can see, the memory of the Wool Exchange and popular guinguettes, not even a decent football club, Roubaix has seen a decline in its population for 40 years. Fuck it up, let’s rebuild a clean thing with air conditioning in the streets.
Nah, but have you seen how old Roubaix is?
Yes, there is the beach in Dunkirk. But instead of swimming or sand yachting, we go to Dunkirk to take a big murge during the carnival with this rule: “what happens in Dunkirk stays in Dunkirk”.
Not content with having an ugly name (say it out loud, “Tour-Coing”, it’s horrible), the city even offers itself ridiculous nicknames, “the city of Broutteux”, in reference to the glorious past local textiles. A combo that makes it the most boring city in France, but not enough to ensure a 100% Ch’ti podium.
Finally a bit of the south and a lilting accent in this ranking. The Bouches-du-Rhône are generally spared. Exception for Vitrolles, forever associated with his idyll with the FN in the mid-90s, Catherine Megret replacing her husband struck with ineligibility for scheming in his campaign accounts. A lesson to be learned: when you choose an FN mayor, you smear the reputation of your city for decades. Think about it.
Charleville-Mézière, for its part, does not have much to reproach itself with apart from having chosen to call its inhabitants the Carolomacériens, to be crossed by the Meuse (it sends shivers down your spine) and to be not far from Charleroi, Carolo hell. So to shave. Next.
A name that smells of Ligue 2, an imposing military cemetery and a location that makes it the first point of contact for “low-cost” travelers who dream of seeing Paris. You dream of the Eiffel Tower and Sacré Coeur, you land in Beauvais, of course, you take revenge by classifying it among the cities to be trashed urgently. Even people with a cold when they say “bad” they pronounce “beauvais”, that says it all, you have to listen to these people.
Maubeuge, ‘la Belle Balafrée’ as its mayor Pierre Forest called it, defends the concept of “countryside in the city”. No, not the amenities of the city in a bucolic setting, but the isolation of the countryside in the midst of pollution. Brilliant. Welcome to the ranking with your 3 flowers in the flower village contest.
We still wonder who, in Brel’s song, wanted to see Vesoul. Not us in any case.
10. Le Havre
Obviously, not everyone was convinced by “the power of the port of Le Havre”. Le Havre is indeed an important port, so a city designed for us to leave. As soon as possible.
Here he is the big winner: twice as many votes for this mysterious “Other” than for Sarcelles. Because we all live in someone else’s rotten city and we quickly denounce our neighbor in the department, the one against whom we lose the derbies.
Source: not very serious survey, neither IFOP nor IPSOS, carried out on a sample not at all representative of 10,000 Internet users who are a little mocking but sympathetic at the bottom.
And if you like things depressing, don’t hesitate to go to Mouthe, the coldest town in France, or to Saint-Benoît de La Réunion, which looks nice like that but is the rainiest town in France.