If you have a child (which is logically the case otherwise you wouldn’t click on this top, huh), you must have had a series of appointments with his pediatrician, for all and for nothing, relatively frequently. And the minutes, even the hours spent in the waiting room may have enabled you to draw up a small list of the types of parents you always meet there, and to realize that you, too, are part of one of these categories.
1. The one who is there ALL THE TIME
It’s crazy, every time you come, even if it’s every 6 months, he’s there, sitting on the same wobbly chair in the waiting room, with his kid. To believe that he has a loyalty card and that he intends to make it profitable, or else it is that he is completely hypochondriac and that he is afraid of the slightest cold of his kid.
2. The one who stresses about the first vaccines
In addition, since she was convinced that the measles-mumps-rubella vaccines made autism (information denied by a majority of the scientific community, I specify). She is a fan of Professor Joyeux (and Raoult) and reluctantly agrees to have her baby’s vaccines because the law obliges her to do so.
3. The one who brings his kid back for a gastro
If it’s a very small baby, ok, it can be hot. But continuing to bring his kid back because he pees his ass when he is 9 years old and it’s not the end of the world, it’s a bit of a bummer. Especially since it should not come as a surprise that the epidemic then escalates, since he will have touched all the objects present in the waiting room, putting his germs everywhere, and that all the other patients will nab them behind.
4. The one who doesn’t come often
Usually it’s not her who brings the kid to the doctor, it’s the other parent, so she doesn’t really know how it works. She doesn’t even know what the pediatrician looks like and forgot the health book at home, great. Well done. Hat.
5. The one who is here for the very first time
Her baby is the weight of an adult cat, curled up in the arms of her parent, a parent who is slowly realizing that he is in a room full of germs that could cling to his tiny little baby while new. Given his face, he is not serene at all there.
6. The one who is afraid of germs
She yells at her kid who plays with the toys in the room, she passes hydroalcoholic gel on his hands as soon as he touches a switch, and prefers to stick an episode of Trotro on his (disinfected) tablet while he waits to make sure he doesn’t touch anything.
7. The one who lets his kid smash the toys in the waiting room
He is visibly at the end of this poor parent, it shows. He is slumped on a chair that is too hard, he is more hemmed in than Philippe Seguin and does not pay any attention to his kid who smashes all the toys one by one in the big bin provided for this purpose. He doesn’t even yell at her, what’s the point, he’s at the end of his life, he doesn’t have the energy for that. From time to time, he’ll still let out a “Brian, stop tearing the pages out of the books”, but it won’t do much good, Brian won’t give a damn and won’t stop.
8. The one who takes her child when he is no longer old enough to come
The kid is clearly over 20, it shows, but he continues to consult his pediatrician, because only he really knows him. Maybe he does that because at the end of the consultation he always has a candy, and he’s not ready to do without it yet, who knows.
9. The Note-Taker
He copies all the little sheets hung up in the waiting room for patients, such as opening hours, emergency numbers, advice in the event of infant fever, everything, absolutely everything. And he will spend the entire consultation scrupulously noting all the pediatrician’s recommendations, to be sure not to forget anything.
10. The one who comes with her whole family
The youngest is sick, but she couldn’t have the two older children looked after, so she comes with them, then with the grandmother too, and the aunt who is passing through town. So that’s a lot of people for a single consultation, all in a small waiting room with 5 seats and 14m2.