That’s it, you gave birth after twelve months of pregnancy (or 8, I don’t really know how long it takes for mammals). The worst is over as they say. Yes but in fact no. You will now be confronted for the months to come with this mammary phenomenon of death that kills: breastfeeding. So here is some information to know beforehand so as not to complain about your race when you have a leech alien screwed on your right breast (or left depending on your political orientation).
1. The suckler is more or less sated after 90 ml of milky gurgling
Ok good. Except that when you breastfeed you don’t have a doser contained in the nipple. So how do you know if little Hugo (I love the name Hugo) is well fed? Normally, if he looks pretty relaxed from the thong like he’s just smoked a big spliff and he’s starting to poke, he’s got a full tank. Another clue: the number of diapers filled with piss (the happiness of being young parents). You must have on average 6 to 8 per day + one with a good big cake release.
2. Breast milk is digested better than powdered milk
It is not a reason to judge you if you do not breastfeed your child. But it’s good to know it too, to understand infant digestion. As a result, breastfeeding requires more feedings than bottle-feeding. There are an average of 8 to 12 feedings per day, hence the friendly nickname “fat greedy” for your charming little toddler.
3. Women generally have one breast that performs better than the other.
That’s how it is, you’re never completely symmetrical. So expect to have one boob that’s bigger than the other and also provides more milk. To avoid finding yourself with a huge boob, it is advisable to alternate from one feeding to another, even if often the baby has a breast he prefers because this little bastard already has requirements.
4. Baby burps less after breastfeeding than after bottle feeding
You can still invite him to burp (before you give him a big slap, paske burp, it’s not polite, no, but you shouldn’t snuggle into the nettles) but since he swallows less air than from a bottle, he naturally has less need to belch.
5. You can eat whatever you want (finally…)
Certainly you are no longer pregnant and can therefore hit you cooked on cooked and smoke eight packs of cigarettes a day. Yes but in fact no. Yeah I know it’s the balls. Well personally I’m not going to judge you if you have a drink from time to time and you toast yourself, it will always be less worse than stressing yourself out because your life is nothing but an accumulation of prohibitions and pain. However, it is rather advisable to drink alcohol after breastfeeding, because you will have eliminated it within 4 hours.
6. Breastfeeding doesn’t hurt your breasts.
We tend to believe that having our nipples suckled will rot our breasts. Actually no. Admittedly, the pregnancy went through it so inevitably your body is a little modified, including your chest. But breastfeeding does not have long-lasting consequences on your morphology.
7. The more your baby nurses, the more milk you will produce.
This story is endless. Finally if all the same, but let’s say that the first month you will no longer have a social life, you will not be able to sleep, your life will revolve around this feeding. Nice no?
8. To be a little more independent you can turn to the breast pump option
See what this totally creepy stuff is that should definitely be banned by the Geneva Convention? Well, well, if you manage to tame it, it can quickly become your best friend. Because having to breastfeed Marie-Zulmée outside in -10°C is a bit of a hassle (you don’t necessarily have to go out at all costs in freezing cold, unless you’re very, very stupid, which can also happen). In this case it is enough to refill the dose in the morning after a good night’s sleep (like 2, 3 hours when you start to spend normal nights of course).
9. It is not necessary to drink milk to breastfeed
Contrary to a widespread idea which consists in believing that your throat is directly connected to your nipples by a channel which would explain that the milk which you drink comes out directly by the nipples like a milky fountain, in fact well not at all.
10. You are not an unworthy mother if you refuse to breastfeed
Should you breastfeed or opt for the bottle? We are not going to relaunch the debate here because trends change from one decade to another. The only thing we can tell you is that you have to choose what makes you most comfortable. If breastfeeding is hurting you too much, don’t persist. You can alternate with bottles or completely exclude breastfeeding, your infant will not be less beautiful and less intelligent.