Changing the mustard layer is not always a piece of cake. I would even say that it is never a pleasure. I would even say even more that parents who like to change their baby’s diaper are downright weird. But yet we must go through this to prevent the divine child from drowning in his poo. In order to escape this desperate obligation, we deliver our best subterfuge to you.
1. Make vagina discomfort when changing the diaper
And to think that it was a stroke and that changing a diaper is obviously very dangerous for you, you must develop a very rare kind of allergy, an orphan disease that physically prevents you from changing diapers.
2. Put the first layers inside out
And have your technical incapacity recognized by a sworn bailiff as well as a social worker who can also testify to the danger to which the child is exposed when you undertake this activity, however necessary.
3. Hire a full-time person just to do it for you
Because if neither the father, nor the mother, nor the stepfather, nor the stepmother, nor the grandmother, nor the grandfather, nor the uncle, nor the aunt, nor the brother, nor the sister, neither the neighbor, nor the neighbor, nor the employer agree to change the diapers of the beast, it will be necessary that everyone contributes so that someone takes care of it.
4. Place the child with a wet nurse until the age of three.
Well, you will still have to think about giving news from time to time, or even going to visit him. Then afterwards you will only have to recover it when it is definitively clean. It will inevitably improve your future relationships.
5. Make the baby cry
If the baby is crying, it is because he is in the rejection phase and does not accept you as an official diaper changer. In short, after a while, if this child has to start his life with constraints, it is necessarily bad. You have to respect your choice and your choice is a refusal.
6. Try the ostrich strategy
If it does, if you don’t do anything and let it happen on its own, the problem will certainly fix itself.
7. Blackmail the baby: if he wants his diaper changed, you will have to change yours first.
Yes, yes he is small and he does not know how to speak yet, but we know very well that he does not think so less. So it’s fine to chouine when it suits him but we know very well deep down that he understands very well what we are talking about.
8. Teach him how to use the toilet
After all it’s like cats, it must be possible to educate him in that sense. At first you hang him a diaper on the toilet seat so that he understands that the pee and the poo is in it, and then after he should go instinctively.
9. Transfer yourself to another country on your own the day after giving birth
And strangely enough, it’s a country that doesn’t tolerate babies before three years old. It’s crazy but hey, we can’t say no to a transfer, it’s still important professionally.
10. Not recognizing it at birth
It’s a bit radical as a method but it has the merit of being very effective.
Tag your baby on his wall so that he understands the message and asks for useful birth gifts, like a self-cleaning diaper (it must exist). Or you can take a washable diaper and throw it in the washing machine very quickly.
Otherwise this top was freely inspired to us by this work entered from this work that you will soon find in La Pléiade: