Top 10 tips for integrating well in Toulouse (for students going there…

“O my country, o Toulouse” sang Claude Nougaro and myself when I was three grams under the Pont-Neuf, thus undermining the dignity of French song. However, Toulouse is a wonderful place, especially for studying there, provided you know two or three things to integrate well.

1. Say chocolatine

We see you coming in the comments blah blah blah chocolatine it sucks blah blah blah. But there is no question here of maintaining the eternal debate. In Toulouse we say chocolatine, period, and it is even considered disrespectful to ask for a pain au chocolat. It’s basic politeness actually. Chocolatine you will say at the risk of ending up cut up in the Garonne.

2. Drink pastis

You can drink pastis at any time, especially in Toulouse where you can benefit from promotional offers, the best known of which, at Tonton, consists of serving you a small meter of pastis in the greatest of calms. The advantage of pastis is that it is the drink with the best cooked/price ratio. He gets you pretty drunk for a minimum of money.

3. Go to Saint-Pierre to party (or drink a pastis)

Saint-Pierre is the nerve center of Toulouse’s nightlife, with its emblematic bars: chez Tonton, the Saint des sein, the Basque bar, the color of the panties… This is where you will go to drink because the heat dehydrated. If you want to change a bit, you can opt for rue Gabriel Péri, also populated by many bars.

4. Spot Shanghai, the place where you will end all your evenings

No matter how much you want to escape it, you will always end up there. Le Shanghaï is a gay club in Toulouse, but it is above all the place where the corpses drunk by the bars of Saint-Pierre hang out because admission is free before a certain time. It is therefore here that the revelers are shipwrecked to end the evening. If you are female, you can try to enter the famous room reserved for males, but without success. They’ve all tried, they’ve all failed.

5. Arrive late

Each city in the south has its quarter of an hour late, called in this city the “quarter of an hour toulouse”. It is customary to always be a little late, even in class where few teachers arrive on time. If you are invited in the evening, do not hesitate to transform the quarter of an hour into an hour and a half in Toulouse. In Toulouse, any punctuality is suspect. You would pass for a weird person, even a northerner, if you arrived on time, or even worse, early.

6. Pretend to be interested in rugby

We say “pretend” because even if you don’t know anything about it, you can still have fun evenings watching games in bars. Afterwards you can always take a real interest in it, it will always be a subject of conversation if one day you have nothing to say.

7. Learn the words of the lame girl

WHEN LA BOITEUUUUUSE GOES TO THE MARKET! A song that serves as a rallying point in all circumstances. Subway, evening, shower… We tell you everywhere. If you start singing it, everyone will take it up with you in a wonderful moment of conviviality and false notes.

8. Using the subway is not always necessary

If Toulouse is extended in area, this is not the case of the city center which is very easy to explore on foot. Anyway, as soon as you go beyond the circle of the grand boulevards, you enter a land of death and dereliction where the rate of things to do is close to zero. If you go to the following places, public transport is nevertheless necessary: ​​Paul Sabatier University or Mirail University, newly Jean Jaurès (but no one calls it that). Despite everything, the metro is a fun way to learn how to say “Bellefontaine” in Occitan.

9. Learn basic vocabulary

Pocket, trunk, peguer, tust, motherfucker, bouducon and other fun things that will make you look like a native. Note that if “fucker” may seem extremely vulgar elsewhere, this is not the case in Toulouse where it is between the emotional nickname and the interjection. As Nougaro said: “We treat ourselves as idiots as soon as we treat ourselves”.

10. Convert to the local religion

Claude Nougaro, local god, has several places of worship including a statue behind the Capitol, a mural in Saint-Pierre and a metro station. It is therefore strongly advised to pay homage to him, by knowing some of his songs, or by participating in a great orgy on the Place du Capitole by anointing yourself with duck fat.

11. (bonus) Buy harem pants

Useful for integrating into the following places: Quai de la Daurade, Toulouse 2 Jean Jaurès University, formerly Le Mirail. Having a France Insoumise membership card is also a little extra. Anyway, a right-wing person in Toulouse is like the credibility of Christine Boutin, impossible to find. So it’s better to hide your LR aspirations if you don’t want to end up exiled in the north, that is to say, in Bordeaux.

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