Top 10 things you can’t buy even if you win the Euromillions

Money is chanmax, it allows you to do a lot of things like buy new shoelaces or have your soot-covered, torn overalls patched up. Yes, I grew up in a Charles Dickens novel and yes I love money since by definition we often love what we don’t have. Well, not necessarily notice, I don’t have typhus and I don’t really like it. Ok it’s not my best top intro, I agree, but the sequel is going to be really better, trust me, because we’re going to talk about everything we couldn’t even afford if we won at the ‘Euromillion like the guy who just won 160 million euros.

1. The biggest yacht in the world

Having a yacht is so cool, you can pollute the sea while being at home, even better because in some yachts there are swimming pools, discos and fridges with yop in them. With 160 million you can have a nice yacht, but not the biggest private yacht in the world since it is worth 600 million euros and belongs to the President of the United Arab Emirates, Sheikh Khalifa ben Zayed Al Nahyan. It is called “Azzam” and has a living room of nearly 250m2, which is larger than yours. And again, I’m not talking to you about the History Supreme yacht which carries no less than 100,000 kilos of platinum gold (MDR that’s a lot) and T-Rex bones (yes, yes) and which costs 2.4 billion. So imagine you win 2.3 billion in the euromillion (well, you should create the eurobillion suddenly) well, you can’t even afford it, you big suckers that you are.

What you can have instead: A two-seater inflatable boat that can be covered in gold and that’s cool.

2. One of the GAFAM companies

Buying a big company is very nice, but with 160 million we won’t go far and it won’t be possible to nab Amazon, Google or Apple. So it sucks, it stinks. If it’s to buy out a rotten company, you might as well keep your money for something else because apart from these, there’s nothing good.

What you can have instead: A laundry in Saint-Malo. Not a big fat one, but one with a dozen washing machines anyway.

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3. A soccer team

Ok, so I’m not talking about a crazy team like the chicks from Châtillons-sur-couille or who knows what crappy team, I’m talking about creating your own team with the best. In concrete terms, you won’t even be able to afford Kylian Mbappé (€630 million) so you might as well buy a volleyball team and have them play football. It’s cheaper and the guys have less melon.

What you can have instead: Franck Leboeuf is no longer too expensive, phew, not necessarily to play but he would make an admirable personal secretary no doubt.

4. The image of the Eiffel Tower

In 2012, the value of the image of the Eiffel Tower was estimated at 434 billion euros, which is a bit expensive for an image (moreover, an image of a triplex building with a view). So you’re going to tell me, the tower as such is worth less but its image weighs more heavily thanks to a marketing team and aggressive tourism around this building that smells of rust. In short Anyway it is clearly not in the rates with 160 poor million euros.

What you can have instead: Rather than buying the image of the Eiffel Tower, I advise you to buy a simple royalty-free photo with 2 bullets.

Top 10 things you cant buy even if you win
Picture credits: Topito

5. Lots of artwork

If you are an art music lover (I don’t know the word but we’ll say “meloart”) and you pocket the jackpot, you might as well get the idea right away, you won’t be able to afford most of the works ” cool “. And when I say “cool” I mean “known”, because if you really love art, you love it for its fame, not for its message or its beauty (otherwise you’re just a museum curator and that’s is rotten). You won’t be able to afford Leonardo da Vinci’s “Salvator Mundi” since it costs 450 million, and if you don’t have Leonardo da Vinci at 50 you’ve missed his life, that’s well known.

What you can have instead: A potato man drawing by my nephew that I’m selling for 80 million. No less because in a short time it will be very expensive, he is an artist in the making. Life is made of bets, choose to make this one.

6. A country

160 million is clearly not enough to buy a country, even a small second-hand country, huh. Nothing, nada, no chance. At best you can have a department, and still it won’t be crazy. I saw the Loire et Cher on leboncoin but honestly it may be a scam, the seller is poorly rated.

What you can have instead: Maybe you can have an island somewhere and name it after a country but it won’t be the same. Goodbye dreams…

Top 10 things you cant buy even if you win

7. FC Barcelona’s debt

The famous club owes 1.3 billion euros so clearly you are not going to be able to repay all that with your pennies. Well at the same time the guys are on fire like it’s not allowed: unlimited shower gel in the locker rooms, clean stadium stairs, car parks with floors, water fountains in the hall… Clearly not a good example of budget management.

What you can have instead: You can still refund my slate at the bar near my house. It throws less but it’s better for your karma I think.

8. An amusement park

As much to tell you that you will not be able to afford Parc Astérix or Disney like that just because you want to. At best you can have a village fair with a sensational attraction that dates back 40 years and whose safety clearly leaves something to be desired. Like, there are shoes left in the wagon with a foot in them.

What you can have instead: You can buy enough wood to try to recreate the Thunder of Zeus yourself in your garden, but look at the good tutorials, don’t mess around with that too much: wood has to be treated.

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9. An iPhone with more than two hours of battery life

Sad observation, but the only iPhone exceeding two hours of autonomy is priceless because it is more or less a legend. Sometimes we talk about him in the dark corridors of Silicon Valley, half-whispered when Tim Cook passes by to go to the toilet.

What you can have instead: Well, a normal iPhone that doesn’t hold up like everyone else. Just because you’re broke doesn’t mean you’re better than everyone else. Finally yes but there are no models only for the big rich what.

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10. Freedom

And not rotten freedom like being able to say what you want or vote, nah I’m talking about real freedom. That of being able to do what you want, when you want, where you want. Kind of biting your toenails in public on the terrace of a café.

What you can have instead: A console and a good TV. This is true freedom, I tell you.

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