Top 10 things we will never understand about our Swiss friends

We have been suffering since last night. We were kicked out by the Swiss team from the Euros and it was really a blow for us. But here we are fair play. Even if frankly a victory obtained in the sweat of the shot on goal is really not a victory of phew, we accept. On the other hand, one thing is certain, it is that we will never understand anything about the Swiss. The proof in ten absolutely striking points.

1. They make up words and phrases that don’t exist

In French-speaking Switzerland, or if you prefer in French-speaking Switzerland, we like to tinker with the French language. For example, if you are asked if you have a duvet cover, include a duvet cover. You are going to tell us that this is a situation that does not happen every day, of course, but we have better. If a Swiss is pleasantly surprised, he will tell you that he is disappointed for the better… For a tip, he will speak of a good hand. Want to clean up? We use the verb push. In short, it’s a mess, in addition to being cute all the way and making us laugh.

Top 10 things we will never understand about our swiss friends

2. Children cross at pedestrian crossings

It seems that it empowers them in addition to making motorists more vigilant. It’s true that running over a kid who has put on his beautiful fluorescent vest is never a pretty sight. We reassure you, children do not do this all the time, but only before and after class. In their place, it seems that the Swiss are requisitioning pensioners.

3. It is forbidden to have only one pet

In Switzerland, a law of 2008 obliges individuals who wish to have a pet at home to respect certain conditions under penalty of a fine which can go up to 10,000 Swiss francs (8600€). For example, guinea pigs, goldfish, goats, parakeets, mice, must always live with at least one conspecific. As for cats, they must at least have a window to see what is happening outside. All these measures were taken to avoid depression in these animals. Why not, even if, in France, we already have trouble forcing people to take care of their elders, so their pets…

Top 10 things we will never understand about our swiss friends

4. It is mandatory to have an anti-atomic shelter at home

According to a study, Switzerland is, along with Israel, the country with the most atomic shelters in the world. 100% of the inhabitants would have either their own in the basement of their house, or a reserved place in one of those present in the vicinity. A law voted in 1963 indeed obliged until recently the Swiss to build a shelter at home. Today, it is also possible to simply contribute to a municipal fund to guarantee a warm place (but not too much anyway) in the event that a clumsy person inadvertently presses the red button.

5. The Swiss flag is square

And not rectangular like those in almost every other country. A small originality that Switzerland shares with the Vatican whose protection has been ensured since the 16th century by… the Swiss Guard. As for knowing the origin of this square shape, I thank myself for shooting me in the foot, because we don’t know anything about it. All that we know concerns the white cross in its center, which was used for the first time by the soldiers of the army of Bern in 1339 at the battle of Laupen, just to recognize themselves in the fray. “Ah, is it you Bernard? Mashed potatoes, it was less one that I impale you with my halberd”.

Top 10 things we will never understand about our swiss friends
Photo credits (Public Domain): Unknown Vector graphics: Flag_of_Switzerland.svg: User:Marc Mongenet

6. The favorite soft drink of the Swiss (after Coke) is made from whey

This oddity is called Rivella and is said to be made up of 35% whey, a colorless and odorless liquid rich in minerals and trace elements, to which plant and fruit extracts and a sweetener have been added. The Swiss are so addicted that they consume up to 11 liters per year and per inhabitant. That’s roughly your weekly Coke consumption.

7. You need permission to install a washing machine at home

More than 60% of the Swiss are tenants and live in buildings equipped with a common laundry room, where residents come to wash their belongings according to a predefined schedule. But if you prefer to have your own washing machine at home, you will need the agreement of your landlord. In the event of problems, such as water damage, mold on the walls due to poor ventilation, or noise pollution at abnormal hours, you risk taking a lot of money.

8. Military service is compulsory and you can leave with your weapon as a souvenir

Not only is military service compulsory for men (4 months of training in so-called recruit schools), but each year you have to take 3-week booster shots (called rehearsal courses). And this until reaching the 260 days of compulsory service. As a small treat, once their training is complete, reservists are allowed to return home with their assault rifles. There are currently more than 650,000 in Switzerland. Neutrality is defensible.

9. It is forbidden to take a bath after 10 p.m. (but not to flush the toilet)

Yes it has nothing to do, but the rumor that we can not evacuate excrement past a certain time would be unfounded. On the other hand, in Geneva, a law prohibits taking nocturnal baths, translation: at a late hour. This is to avoid disturbing the neighbors.

10. The Swiss consume more fondue than raclette!

And after that, they want to stay neutral? Let us remember for all practical purposes for the little story that the fondue was invented in the 13th century by the monk Vacarius to circumvent the ban on eating cheese during the Lenten period. The brothers were so addicted to good food, that they agreed to decree that the fondue had logically nothing to do with cheese… and that they could therefore consume it religiously.

Top 10 things we will never understand about our swiss friends
Picture credits: Topito

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