Parisians from the provinces, students forced to go “to the city” to go on to the next diploma, the Friday evening TGVs are full of these expatriates on their way to their homeland, the one we do not forget, the one you never deny, the one whose locality names you know how to pronounce. And this procession of prodigal children gives rise to certain rituals, necessary before resuming the hectic life that is their daily life, when this invigorating parenthesis on the land of their ancestors ends.
1. We go to the hairdresser
The real difficulty of cutting the cord is often measured by the almost pathological attachment that one has for the hairdressing salon of one’s adolescence. In addition, leaving a little time before finding your colleagues “well clear behind the ears” can drastically reduce the “Hey… Have you been to the hairdresser? »
2. We do the heavy laundry
Of course, you could have washed this down jacket at home, but your mother’s acute mastery of the machine’s different programs made you wait. You will leave Monday with a clean overcoat, smelling of fabric softener and ingeniously folded.
3. We hear from our 4th graders
Often indirectly, through your mother who met friends of her parents at Leclerc. ” Who is that ? The little brunette who lived near the town hall? She is pregnant ? Twins? And you learned that in the frozen food section? »
4. We learn about real estate
And we compare with the prices per square meter in our city of adoption. We don’t intend to buy near our place of work (“it’s become overpriced!”) or where we grew up, but it’s reassuring to see that these differences persist, we have the impression of having gone far.
5. We take a drunk
You can’t cut it, old friends, bars in which you vomited more often than paid the bill, the pleasure of returning to the bar stools of your youth with greater purchasing power… The gears.
6. We behave like a tourist
By what strange mechanism would these rural walks or these discoveries of the architectural heritage of your birthplace be more interesting than when you carefully avoided them a few years ago? Mystery. But you give them a chance.
7. We spend a lot of money
Behind this unconscious propensity to take out the credit card certainly hides a tribal reflex consisting in repatriating euros from the big city to his home town, like a Chinese migrant worker who compresses his expenses while he works to bring back essential resources. to the development of his village.
8. We read the local press
And we think it’s a hell of a rag. We deliberately neglect that in the Big City, the one where we live at 200 an hour, there is also a local press which is not much better, but which we never buy. Otherwise, we would know that everywhere in France we inaugurate roundabouts and we hold fairs for the benefit of bullshit associations. Bad faith is characteristic of the expatriate.
9. We eat like four
Family pressure, “You’re skinny! », rediscovery of the soil and excavations in the freezer of the parents, the one in which one could hide a human corpse… Several factors explain that one returns bloated from his weekend, even if one accuses a little easily the local tendency to butter with almost anything that can be.
10. We fill shopping bags
Your family, aware of the uprooting that it represents to work 120 kilometers from the house where you grew up, loads your bag with products that are certainly not available in the shops of your new city: whole milk, pasta in the shape of letters of the alphabet and vanilla BN chocos. In exchange for this survival kit, you will be required to announce that you will be back within the next few weeks. Don’t forget your down jacket, it’s dry.
And you, do you feel it well this return?