Surely you have already heard of burnout, usually more often assimilated to the professional world. But there is also parental burn-out, the one that makes you want to drop everything and go live in the depths of Peru to grow your tomatoes while living in a cave. It can affect all parents, let’s be vigilant (and put on good bloody condoms).
1. Mothers are mainly affected
Even if men are more and more present in the education of children and the management of the house, mothers remain those who are most affected by this burn-out. It is estimated that 5% of parents are in burnout, and that 8% are not far from it. It’s a good little package all the same.
2. There are a few signs to look out for
This burn-out is quite clearly identified in 3 distinct phases: intense fatigue (mental and physical), emotional distancing, i.e. no longer wanting or being able to spend time with your children outside of work obligatory like feeding or caring for them, and finally the loss of efficiency, the feeling of being the most useless parent in the world.
3. We need to talk about it
Burn-out is a word that we put on an evil that has existed for a long time and which is common, it is unfortunately nothing exceptional. Do not hesitate to talk about it to those close to you or to consult outright, so that solutions can be found.
4. You have to stop putting pressure on yourself
The burn-out comes from this desire to want everything to be perfect, that everything runs smoothly, that the children are as happy as possible while managing all the hassles of everyday life, making homemade cakes and having a nickel interior. Let’s stop for two seconds from wanting to be perfect, it’s useless. Then look what it did to Bree Van De Kamp, it’s not pretty.
5. Do not forget yourself
When you’re a parent, you tend to continually put your children before yourself, and that’s quite logical. Nevertheless, it is important not to neglect time for yourself, whether it is moments, weekends, evenings, in short, taking breaks, we are not machines.
6. It can be coupled with professional burn-out
Often the two can go together. Professional burnout can lead to parental burnout, or the other way around. What is to be remembered is this feeling of suffocation and intense fatigue, which results in a big cable fart in all areas.
7. It can happen at any time
It is not necessarily after the arrival of the first child that it can land, but it can be with the arrival of the second, or the third, or between the two, or when they start to grow. There are no rules, it can happen at any time.
8. We must mourn the ideal parenthood
If we stop putting pressure on ourselves to want to be the most perfect mother or father, that will already help a lot to defuse our little inner bomb ready to explode. The perfect parent does not exist, even on Instagram, and we must mourn it. Everyone does what they can.
9. Learn to delegate
In a family made up of a couple, you shouldn’t hesitate to really share the tasks and to delegate (hello, mental workload), even if you think that if it’s not done by us, it won’t be perfect. . Who cares, it doesn’t matter. In single-parent families, do not hesitate to ask for help from friends, family or neighbors, to let go a little.
10. This burnout also affects parents who do not work
It is not because the parent stays at home or works part-time that he cannot be in full burn-out, quite the contrary. Recent studies have shown that these parents tend to give themselves even more pressure to be perfect in their role, since they feel they have more time for it. Spoiler alert: even if you don’t work 50 hours a week, you have the right not to be on top.
If you are concerned about these symptoms, talk about it, don’t keep it to yourself, it will only make things worse. Good luck !