That’s it, you’re going to be parents, yay yay. And apart from deciding whether you want him to study medicine or law later, you’ll have to give him a first name that he will keep until the end of his life, and which will define him in time. than anyone. Hello pressure eh. And since you don’t want your kid to request a name change from the Civil Registry as soon as he has the chance, you ask yourself three billion questions to find THE first name, the one that won’t shame nobody, and it can quickly make you crazy.
1. Pay attention to rhymes
Madeleine the whale, Manon the tuna, Véronique two who hold her, three who don’t… In short, you got the trick huh. The problem with first names, and especially with language, is that almost everything rhymes, you just have to rack your brains a little.
2. Pay attention to diminutives
André, it’s pretty, but you can be sure it will end in “Dédé”, and that’s creepy. Jacky, already it’s ugly in full first name, it can also be worse in front of “kiki”, just like Fanny who becomes “Fafa” or Robert who becomes Bébert. Thanks for the originality guys.
3. If it looks too much like a genital organ, we avoid
Genre Clitorine, Cyprine, Penny… Yes, it can cause mockery, shouldn’t be surprised either, huh. What’s the idea of calling your kid like that, don’t you want to stick a pole in his back too, so that it’s more practical to hit him at school?
4. Children are naughty, you have to think like them
Children are pests, that’s a fact. Except yours of course, everyone knows it. But suddenly, try to avoid giving him a first name that will make his little classmates want to stick his head in the toilet and become the new Turkish face of the whole recess. Genre avoids calling him Jean-Jacques what. Do it for him.
5. Can we be called Kevin and be President of the Republic?
So for now, no. And that’s not likely to happen anytime soon. Well, if ever in 2078 the new President is called Kevin, you can come back and read this top and put a comment in very neat phrasing, saying “in your teeth, you didn’t see anything coming huh”, and indeed, I don’t wouldn’t have seen it coming. At the same time, there’s a good chance that I won’t be alive to debate in 2078, so I don’t care a bit, you see.
6. And doesn’t that sound a little too much like a cat’s name? `
The real question being: could we stop giving cats human names? It would make the job a lot easier, we’re not going to lie to each other. Since when is it cool to call your cat Justine or Jérémy? You suck too.
7. Isn’t that a little too fashionable?
Yes, it is. Unless you decide to call your kid Mireille or Berthe, there’s a good chance that the first name you like more than anything has been suggested to you for months when you heard parents yelling at their kid in the park, a little before you gave birth. . Because today, calling your kid “Hypolyte” is no longer original, it just proves that you live in the 11th arrondissement of Paris.
8. Not choosing the first name of one of his exes
Unless you really don’t want to like him, then let’s go straight and call him Adolf while we’re at it. No really, naming your kid with the same first name as your ex is not the right solution for you, for your kid, and even less for your couple.
9. First names that end in “a”, it’s too minitel
Yeah ok, there are some here who may not even know what a minitel is. But if you call your kid “Lula”, or “Lola” or “Ella”, you will quickly know why those in their forties look at you with a smirk. And if you’re wondering if that point is salacious, the answer is yes.
10. The reaction of your loved ones says it all.
“Ah, that’s original”, “Does it mean something in a foreign language? », « Is it because you are a fan of Game of Thrones? “, “Ah, I never heard this name”, “Again? I have the impression to hear that as a first name lately”. And to finish with the reaction of your kindergarten mistress buddy: “I like this name, I have 4 in my class who are called like that this year”.