Top 10 things that foreigners do not understand in the French language, what…

French is the worst language because of all its incomprehensible rules, its insane pronunciation and its overly complicated conjugation. There are even false friends in English, it’s normal for foreigners to understand nothing and make mistakes that tear their ears out! Since French is our mother tongue, there are plenty of inconsistencies that we don’t notice. However, they are there and we did a little scenario to visualize the incomprehension of foreigners in the face of our beautiful language (and again, we do not speak French expressions).

1. Numbers and tens

The rest of the world (including Belgium): “Go France, show us how you count the tens! »

France : “Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty…”

The rest of the world : “Very good, great! »

France : ” Seventy “

The rest of the world : “Wait, do we have to add it up? Seventy + ten? »

France : “Eighty”

The rest of the world : “Ah multiplications now? Four times twenty?? Why ? »

France : ” Ninety “

The rest of the world : “Nah stop it’s a valve? It makes no fucking sense! »

France : “And a hundred. »

Top 10 things that foreigners do not understand in the french language, what...

2. The potato

France : “It’s funny, it definitely looks like an apple. »

The rest of the world : “Well, not so much. »

France : “Yes, but an apple that grows underground! »

The rest of the world : ” OK… “

3. Formal formalities

France : “So I explain to you, there is ‘you’ and ‘you’”.

The rest of the world : “And how do we use them? »

France : ” It’s easy. Already if you are a child and you speak to another child, you can say “you”. If you’re a child talking to an adult, you should say “you” unless it’s a family member or you know that adult very well. Afterwards, in some families, you have to address your elders as you say. »

The rest of the world : “Okay…what if we’re an adult?” »

France : “If you’re an adult and you’re talking to a child, you can address him as tu unless he’s a prince or something like that. »

The rest of the world : “Yes, but what if we’re an adult and we’re talking to an adult? »

France : “Oh yes then it depends. If it’s someone you’re very close to like your brothers and sisters, your friends or your life partner, you can address them as tu (unless you’re from an aristocratic family). If it’s your teacher, someone high up, or the local shopkeeper you barely know, say ‘you’. In your company, you can be familiar with your boss only if you work in a young and dynamic club where there are table footballs or in a small casual business where everyone is friends. In general, you have to address people you don’t know as you say, but if you’ve been to May 68 or Woodstock, people understand that you don’t use the familiar terms. »

The rest of the world : “We’re going to speak English, it’s better. »

Top 10 things that foreigners do not understand in the french language, what...

4. What is it?

France : “It’s a little too easy to say ‘What is it?’ or ‘What?’, I’m going to add words around it to make it more intelligent. So now we’ll say ‘What is that?’. Oh, and we can even say ‘What the hell is that?’ to make it longer. In English it would say ‘What is this that this it that thing?’. Perfect ! »

5. Wand

The rest of the world : “Ok so you call the bread you buy the same as Harry Potter’s lethal weapon?” »

France : ” Yes quite. »

Top 10 things that foreigners do not understand in the french language, what...

6. Kiss

The rest of the world : “A ‘kiss’ is what you do when you kiss, right? »

France : ” That’s it ! »

The rest of the world : “So I can say ‘I want to fuck you’?” »

France : ” So… “

7. Buddy

France : “So for the word ‘friend’, I thought of ‘buddy’. But depending on the conversation, it can also mean ‘in love’. »

The rest of the world : “But isn’t that going to be confusing?” »

France : “Ah so so totally. It will create very awkward situations. »

Top 10 things that foreigners do not understand in the french language, what...

8. The gender of common nouns

The rest of the world : “We said to ourselves that the simplest thing would be for common names to be neutral because they are not sexual beings, but apparently nobody agrees”.

France : “Yes, so I decided to give a gender to absolutely all common nouns and even to proper nouns. For example, we say ONE chair but ONE stool without any valid reason. And then we say Kuwait but Slovenia. »

The rest of the world : ” OK very good. »

9. Water

The rest of the world : “It’s time to name the transparent liquid that we drink so as not to die. We already have ‘water’, ‘voda’ and ‘wasser’ which look quite alike and on the other side there is ‘acqua’, ‘agua’ and ‘água’. What do you prefer France? »

France : “Mhhh… water. But it’s pronounced ‘o’. Three letters sounded better. »

The rest of the world : *sigh*

Top 10 things that foreigners do not understand in the french language, what...

10. The circumflex accent

The rest of the world : “Okay France, you want to remove the ‘S’ in the words ‘hospital’ and ‘hostel’. Very well that suits us, it will be simpler. »

France : “Wait Wait, is it possible to add a little hat on the ‘o’? »

The rest of the world : ” A hat ? But why ? That changes something ? »

France : “No it’s nothing special, it’s just nice I like it. »

The rest of the world : “Do you know that’s going to confuse people?” »

France : “Hahaha yes! »

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