We will never have finished debunking the big lies of cinema, but we will try to do it anyway. Today, it’s the so-called romanticism of the movies that will take its place, because that’s enough: Hollywood has to stop making us believe that certain things are too cute / too romantic / too attractive so that the same thing would just be awkward or even downright scary in real life. Don’t take us for hams, Mr. Hollywood.
1. The guy who makes an inappropriate statement to win back his ex
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Often, the guy decides to apologize in public, which obviously puts a lot of pressure on the woman’s shoulders: if she doesn’t forgive him, everyone will take her for a big sour life. Or the guy is just way too intrusive – going to his ex’s house, for example – and there he just doesn’t respect the other person’s private space. In short, this kind of attempt to win back is generally quite close to harassment, and there is nothing romantic about it.
2. Love stories often start with something awkward.
You see them, these romantic comedies where the relationship between two characters begins with a completely delicate situation, based on a girl who breaks the face in the street, a guy who tries a rotten joke, or two people who jostle in a hallway and spill coffee on each other. In short, in the movies, it always looks romantic, while in reality it’s always embarrassing for the two, who have only one desire: to run away and never meet the other again so as not to never experience that embarrassment again.
3. Interrupt a marriage ceremony to oppose this union
Yes, it’s very pretty when it happens in Shrek, not least because Fiona has no desire to marry Lord Farquaad, but in the real world of real life, the vast majority of people don’t want their marriage to be interrupted by an ex. Truly not.
4. When the guy knocks on the girl’s bedroom window in the middle of the night
But you’re not well my boy? Get out of here or I’ll call the cops. And then stop throwing stones at my window, you’ll blow it.
5. Keep trying to win over a woman who has already said no
Who knows why, in movies, it often ends up working: the guy insists, insists, insists again, and the girl ends up liking him. They try to sell us bullying as something too cute when it’s completely twisted. Twisted 90° even.
6. Kiss someone to shut up
You have the scene in mind: the two characters are face to face, one of them talks a lot, and the other decides to kiss him to interrupt him. Well, we regret to inform you that it’s not very kiki, and that it’s even rather a total lack of respect, especially if it’s a first kiss, and even more so if the consent of the other was not quite clear. No, we’re not crazy, we say real things.
7. Drop everything to run away with someone you just met
In truth, the two end up in 99% of cases by realizing that they do not get along that well and that, from now on, they must assume their bullshit. For once, we really would like reality to be as pretty as the movies, but what do you want, life is unfair.
8. The girl who kisses the guy covered in the blood of his enemies
Let’s be serious for two minutes: the guy has just experienced a horrible event and he reeks of death. Who wants to roll a big shovel at a time like this? Nobody, we tell you, nobody.
9. Sex in the shower
Yes, the shower can make you want sex, but the result is NEVER romantic. We have the shower curtain that sticks to our buttocks, we take the bottles that fall on our faces, and half the time it ends up in the emergency room because we fall like idiots. Unless you have a 12 square meter shower, best avoided.
10. Marriage proposals in public
Seriously, this needs to stop forever. Unless it’s your partner’s ultimate dream, public marriage proposals are the best way to embarrass the other person and put pressure on them 1000 times. It’s the complete opposite of something supposed to be intimate. and cute.