Cinema is all the same very often too different from real life. Because of the cinema, I believed too many things, I was waiting for the day when the popular guy from high school would fall madly in love with me, it never happened. I was waiting for the day when I would become an undercover FBI agent in charge of exposing the worst serial killers, it never happened. It’s real, even though there’s a lot of stuff that’s easier in real life than in the movies, real life hurts. And there, I will denounce them.
1. Air vents
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In movies, guys are too fond of riding in air vents to be able to spy on what’s going on in rooms. In real life, if you do that you die of asphyxiation by a spider’s web or you discover dust that dates back to 1329.
There are so many differences between sex in movies and real life that it would be difficult to list them, but we are being LIED and it annoys me. No one is going to kiss you languidly in the rain, no one is going to light up a cigarette and chat with you for hours after sex, no one is going to tell you it was the best night of her life and she can’t anymore. do without you. Nobody.
In the movies, Paris is THE city of lovers, a romantic city, with beautiful architecture, good cheese and wine. In real life, tourists discover Gare du Nord and all their dreams of romance are shattered so soon.
4. Nightclub toilets
In movies (those my mother forbade me to watch when I was 12), the heroes are too fond of having sex in the toilets of nightclubs, the attraction is so great. In real life, you go into the box toilet, you see 3 vomit strewn all over the place, piss on the ceiling and stuff I don’t even want to talk about. In short, it is simply IMPOSSIBLE.
In the movies, the spy heroes (always the same) have to go into the sewers to find treasures and they come out cleaner than they came in, with impeccable suits and shiny shoes. In real life, well I must admit that it’s not my pure love to walk in the sewers, but when you come back from the sewers I’m almost sure that you have the 3 brothers from Ratatouille who are now part of your outfit clothing.
In the movies, the smile is always ultra white and you will never find a hero with something stuck between his teeth, the breath is so fresh that you can smell it from behind the screen, whereas in real life…. You have to go on the metro at 8 a.m. to see that no, what.
In the movies, you never have something lying around on the floor or dishes overflowing from the sink, even when the guys come home in a hurry. In real life, my dishes are lying on the floor and my clothes are in the sink 90% of the time, it’s such a mess.
In the movies, you never find a tag anywhere, no damage, it looks like the establishment was built yesterday. In real life… no.
In the movies, breakups are so touching and it’s like “I’ve been moved halfway around the world, sorry Kelly but I have to follow my dream” – “No Brandon please don’t m ‘don’t give up’ and crying and blah blah. In real life, it’s Kevin my ex who has been ghosting me for 3 weeks and blocking me from all social networks. Fuck you, Kevin.
Already, in real life, it doesn’t exist, nobody makes pottery.