Hi to you, young entrepreneur. Do you want to make money or do you prefer to stay at home like shit and be called poor filth? Do you want to drive a Ferrari or do you prefer to have to pull on a pulley to start the solex? Do you want to live in the Swiss Alps or do you prefer your maid’s room in Aubervilliers? Well I think the question is quickly answered and I give you all the possible and imaginable techniques to transform your miserable existence worthy of a PEL on which we transferred barely 15 euros into an account in Luxembourg full of nuggets in foreign currencies that you don’t even know yet.
1. Wearing a suit: 30% more chance of succeeding
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I think the question is quickly answered: wearing a suit is already 30% more successful on your side because you wear a suit so you feel like an entrepreneur because you wear a suit whereas if you don’t wear a suit, you don’t feel like an entrepreneur, so you don’t undertake, so it’s 30% less chance of success. You follow me ? The question is quickly answered.
2. Being around people who despise the poor: 80% more likely to succeed
I believe that the question is quickly answered: if we are surrounded by people who despise poverty, I dare to hope that we will not be among those people, the poor, otherwise we will be among the people despised by the people around us and suddenly they will surround us more and we will be more surrounded and we will feel lonely and sad and we will therefore have less chance of succeeding. Whereas if we surround ourselves with people who don’t despise poverty, in the end nothing prevents us from becoming poor and therefore the question is quickly answered.
3. Trust a super reliable guy
Is this guy reliable? I think the question is quickly answered.
4. Accept the offer of this Nigerian prince
Frankly, this is an offer not to be missed. The guy is going to die, he came across your profile by chance and he thought you looked like a good person, anyway he always believed that God would put people in his path and he was not mistaken, he is ready to do anything to ensure that his money is used for noble causes and he is ready to bequeath it to you, and be careful, we are not talking about forty euros and three chairs that were worth money 15 years ago , we are talking about a real fortune in billions of CFA francs, and this fortune is within reach, just do a Western Union for a small fee, barely 800 euros, what is it in the eyes of all CFA francs that you’re going to stuff yourself, huh, what is it, huh, nothing? Nothing. So I think the question is quickly answered and fortune is yours.
5. Vote right
Would you rather be a badly paid history teacher who complains and smells like bad coffee or an attractive guy who takes care of his body, dominates his environment, is rich and votes for the right? I think the question is quickly answered. Plus, studies prove that attractive people tend to be right wing because they’re more confident so anyway it’s the snake biting its own tail, this thing, once you get to right you will be richer and therefore more attractive and therefore you will naturally become right then a little effort.
6. Marry a rich man
Would you rather toil your whole life at the grindstone to accumulate a meager salary that will barely finance your vacation in Palavas or marry a very rich old man/woman who already has one foot in the grave and who will leave you all his money as soon as the second foot on board? I think the question is quickly answered: Ok making love with a bag of mothballs is not exactly fun, but if we could get what we want without making an effort on this land of tears , it would be known.
7. Buy get-rich-in-three-day books
Would you rather read 600 pages on the story of a 19th century girl who gets bored in Normandy with her doctor husband and who ends up shooting himself or read a 50-page book that will explain how to get rich super fast? I think the question is quickly answered and if you want to start accumulating fortunes, it’s not by spending time with suicidal chicks who would have died anyway so long as they lived even if in fact they haven’t really lived because they’re the heroines of novels that you’re going to get there.
8. Make a Ponzi scheme
Do you prefer to become a famous guy like Jean-Claude Romand or Bernard Madoff or remain an anonymous person who wets the bed? I think the question is quickly answered and if I were you I would hasten to scam people by offering to invest their money at unbeatable rates and paying the promised interest with other people’s money who will entrust it to you in the hope of having such marvelous and above all completely non-existent interests. In the meantime, you can buy yourself a Ferrari thanks to other people’s money and that’s downright clever.
9. Start a business whose name ends in -ing
Do you prefer to be at the head of a bar-PMU like Nimrod or Chez Laurette or define yourself as the CEO of Connering, the first start-up entirely dedicated to personal enrichment through the sale of objects connected for entrepreneurs facing the biggest problem in recent history, namely the disengagement of talent? I believe the question is quickly answered.
10. Be rich in friendships and happiness in life
No I’m kidding, it sucks, no one bought a Ferrari thanks to their friendships (or by selling a friend’s kidney).