Friends of cyclists, lovers of the freewheel, ayatollah of the pedal and flatterers of handlebars, this top is written by one of yours and brings together all the accumulated suffering of ten years of cycling. Unfortunately, we don’t really know why, but a lot of very, very bad people are after us, so to get at us, they attack what is most dear to us: our two-wheeled Rocinante.
1. Make you pull your saddle
It’s a classic shot. Usually it’s when you’ve had your third saddle pulled that you consider buying a padlock just for your saddle because you’re tired of doing rides like a dancer to avoid impaling yourself on a wooden stake. scrap.
2. That we use your basket as a trash can
Certainly it is less serious than no longer having an OK saddle. But it’s a bit boring when every day without exception, you get your bike back with empty beer cans, or dripping food wrappers or even sweet little words like “ALL BLACKS GO BACK TO BAMBULIA”. Truthful, I personally received several messages in capital letters from the same person (I guess) with the same type of messages, suddenly I take advantage of this forum to tell him that his words touched me a lot that I will be delighted to get to know him better.
3. Finding weird, sticky liquids sprinkled on it
I never wanted to investigate this mystery any further. Those little sticky spots found all over the saddle, frame and handlebars like drops of Sprite, beer, urine or vomit, what do I know?
4. Making you smash your light, like that, just to smash it
In a pinch, I could have it stolen, which would be more consistent with the concept of taking something that doesn’t belong to me from someone else for personal gain. But there no. The offense boils down to a simple desire to cause harm, totally gratuitous.
5. Get your rubber grips stolen
And then you find yourself like shit holding iron handles that are frozen in winter and on which your hands slip in pain. It’s not very serious but it’s small, it’s petty it’s too mean.
6. A kick in the frame, just because we didn’t like his face or because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
It happens with the kick of the ugly in search of attention but also with the trucks which never make blunder with your poor animal or the scooters these bastards without race which park like dicks while smashing your rear wheel. Why ? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
7. People who use your saddle as a lazy seat all day.
It’s nice, huh, it’s friendly, really it’s nice that your bike is used for something while you work in the office. But when there are five of the guys sitting on the poor pile of junk that you pick up trembling in fear with the wheels deflated from the weight of the five fat ass splayed on it, it puts you on an interstellar level.
8. Make your bike move forward while there is a lock
It really is a dick thing. Yes I say. We must put a word on this race of swellings. A bicycle with a lock does not move. Even though he’s technically mobile because he’s not attached to a fence. Otherwise you burst all the rays, and by dint of farting the rays you kill the sun.
9. Stout cigarettes on the saddle
We reach there a rather dirty level of perversion in terms of the son of a bitch but nevertheless very real. And when it happens to you, your heart bleeds and the rain runs down your cheeks and down your soul.
10. When they take off your stabilizer wheels and then you can’t roll without falling on your side
That’s really abused because it happens to very good people not to know how to ride a bike so if it’s to make fun of it, it starts to do well in the end now stop laughing I’m too fed up.