When you decide to live in Paris, there are skills that you have to acquire, that’s how we don’t make the rules. In general, one becomes a Parisian without even realizing it: there are signs that you live in Paris that are unmistakable. At first, you think you’re a nice, friendly and patient person, but soon you find yourself yelling at the tourists who park on the left side of the escalator.
1. Be solid on your feet in the metro
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When you’re a real Parisian, you don’t waste time in the metro. So, even when the train is crowded, you have to have your hands free to be on your phone or read a book and above all, ESPECIALLY, you must not hold the helm of the metro. Already, it’s dirty, but it’s above all a mark of weakness. This is why Parisians are always very strong on their support to stay balanced in the metro without standing or falling on people.
2. Extreme vision to avoid dog poo
Everyone knows that Paris is not the cleanest city in the world and it’s mainly because of its inhabitants who leave their waste everywhere. The worst waste is obviously dog poop that the Parisian refuses to pick up. We are therefore obliged to have an overdeveloped vision to avoid droppings while of course remaining glued to our phone.
3. An ability to organize tiny spaces
If you have ever lived in Paris without being a millionaire, you have surely realized that the prices are completely abused, vazy is really too high. So inevitably, we all live in apartments that are too small for a human being. For a rat at the limit it’s okay, but not for a human. But you have to move in all the same, so you make use of every possible square centimeter.
4. The piercing gaze to support the insolent gaze of the pigeons
In Paris, it’s always the same people who take on too much confidence: the salespeople who talk loudly in the bars, the bourgeoises of the 16th arrondissement who talk badly to the salesmen and the pigeons who refuse to move aside when you pass by them. .
5. Learn to ignore people who stop you in the street with conviction.
To be Parisian is also and above all to know how to be contemptuous. When a tourist comes to ask you for help to find his way or an association tries to approach you in the street, you have to know how to react with silence and disdain. The Parisian must be in a hurry and not stop, but if he has time, he can look the intruder up and down in disgust before putting his AirPods back on.
6. Unusual reflexes to avoid pedestrians when you’re on a bike
To live in Paris, you have to adapt to the Parisian mentality and there is one thing to remember: you are always within your rights and it is the others who are the problem. Thus, you can complain about cars when you are a pedestrian and cyclist, complain about pedestrians and cyclists when you are in a car and complain about everyone when you are on a bike, including scooter riders, those seriously sick people on the road. .
7. A record level of apnea to survive in the RER
Everyone knows that the RER stinks of death and that’s easily explained: people do just about anything in it, including vomiting or urinating. The real Parisians, those dirty rich people, never take the RER because they have sworn on their life never to go beyond the ring road, but the Parisians-suburbanites are used to it and hold rather impressive apnea records.
8. An ease in mental calculation to avoid the overdraft
When you choose to live in Paris, you shouldn’t be surprised to spend the equivalent of Benin’s GDP every week. You have to pay the rent, the utilities, the groceries and the wifi box but also the pints in the bars, the pizzas to take away and all that useless stuff that you shouldn’t have bought. From now on, each time someone asks you to go out to eat, you have to calculate if you will be able to finish the month without being in the red.
9. Extraordinary patience to deal with traffic jams
The real Parisian does not have a car. Moreover, he does not even have the code and even less the permit. On the other hand, the Parisian takes taxis and VTCs because he thinks he is rich when he is going to eat water from the 20th of the month. And like everyone else, the Parisian hates traffic jams. At the same time, it’s always frustrating to take 30 minutes to cover 2km.
10. A good sense of direction to escape from Chatelet – Les Halles
I had a friend a few years ago who wanted to go through Châtelet to go to Montparnasse. He left, confident and a little too sure of himself. I never saw him again… I often think of him and all the other damned who must wander the corridors of this accursed station.