You surely have friends like that: they grew up like you, in the provinces (or “in the region”, as some prefer to say), but they ended up moving to the capital. Then they became Parisianized. They became different, as if they had never really lived anywhere but in the big city at the Eiffel Tower. This top is for them, those friends who have changed.
1. He spends his time at exhibition openings when two years earlier he thought Munch was an aperitif biscuit
He who was totally allergic to any form of art has strangely become an unconditional fan of museums and especially of the small independent galleries in which his artist friends exhibit. Deep down, we know he just wants to drink champagne for free, but it’s still pretty scary.
2. When he returns to his parents, he posts way too much on Instagram with hashtags like #RetourAuxSources or #ZeroPollution
His old “home” has become an inexhaustible source of publications to show that he knows how to go green from time to time and take advantage of the gifts that mother nature brings him. In reality, he lives in a small gray town, but a photo of his parents’ garden is enough for him to think that he has taken a breath of fresh air.
3. He finds that there are only tourists and provincials in Paris
Because he himself forgot that he was a provincial before setting foot in Paris. He also forgot that time when, when he was 10, he came with his parents to visit the capital. He even climbed to the very top of the Eiffel Tower, like any good self-respecting tourist.
4. He thinks people move too slowly in provincial towns
He huffs, he rattles, he grumbles, and as soon as he can, he overtakes passers-by with a sigh. We can’t blame him: in Paris, everyone is hurrying. He just got used to running whenever he wants to get from point A to point B.
5. He is surprised to find that there is 4G in the metro in his hometown
Perhaps he thought that by moving to Paris he had left prehistory to join the city of the future. However, its former city has continued to evolve, too, and it offers as much, if not more, comfort than the capital. When he learned that he could go on Instagram in the metro, like “at home”, you saw his eyes light up.
6. When he returns to his region, he finds that life is really cheap
Inevitably, he has been conditioned for at least a year to pay for his pint of beer at 8 euros, so seeing that you can do your shopping without breaking the bank, he is no longer used to it. The advantage is that in provincial bars, he will tend to pay his rounds more easily, and that’s you who will benefit.
7. When you tell him you met a star, he plays the jaded guy
“Oh well you know me in my neighborhood I meet Orelsan and Pierre Niney almost every day. The other time I even exchanged a few words with Louis Garrel,” he tells you. Listening to him, you might think he knows everyone in the movies and that doesn’t matter to him at all, but know that in reality he is very happy to throw all these names at you with a falsely detached air.
8. He tells you about the different arrondissements of Paris
As if you cared to know that “the left bank is too boring” and “Nah but the 11th is life actually haaaan”. What happens in Paris doesn’t interest you at all, so his pseudo sociological study of the arrondissements really goes over your head. But hey, if it makes him happy…
9. He calls you “the provincial”
He tells you it’s for fun, but you know very well that deep down he imagines you with overalls, a straw hat and a pitchfork. He tells himself that you could have been so happy if you had followed him to the City of Light… when you are surely much happier than him.
10. You call him “the Parisian”
And ultimately it’s a bit your fault too if he’s like that.