We’re not going to lie to each other, anyway, some won’t have a choice, because when we see your faces, behind your screens, it’s better to be clear: not everyone will have the chance to generate a cute little baby Cadum* (*this expression was given to me by my grandfather). And it doesn’t matter. In truth, having a very ugly baby has a lot of advantages. Proof by 10.
1. Because it’s much more original
Aren’t you a little tired of being so sadly in the norm, in your Mr. Everybody’s costume, with your minivan and your mediocrity? Do you seriously believe that a beautiful baby will help you stand out?
2. Because it’s golri
Be pragmatic, you’ll get more views on Youtube with an ugly baby than with a pretty little baby doll, all beautiful, without rough edges. And today isn’t that the only thing that matters?
3. To see people’s faces
“Ooooooh he is…..aaaaaaaaaahhh, he is……cute…? »
Nota Bene: If there is one who dares to add something like “The whole portrait of his father, huh? Don’t hesitate, give him a forehead, you’re in your right.
4. Because it will allow you to sort out your loved ones
By checking for good who is honest and who is a big fake ass first. It is important to be well surrounded.
“Ah but man, your kid is disgusting! »
“Thank you old man, you’re a brother… Would you like to be his godfather?” »
5. Because he will be less sick
Mechanically, he should excite kissing maniacs and other professional apple lickers a little less, including the worst kind: those who haven’t understood that it’s a bad idea to kiss his “cute little mimes”… since the little camel spends his time sticking them in his beak. And therefore to ingest the miasmas that have just been deposited there. “But this kid always has a cold! “Ah well, if he had been a little uglier, that’s for sure, it would be different…
6. Because it will go perfectly with your Multipla, your bull terrier and your Desigual shirts
And then we’re not going to lie to each other, “Dogs don’t make cats”, “The apple never falls far from the apple tree”… What we’re trying to tell you here is that you and your wife are not no more potential models, huh. So all in all…
7. Because you’ll be much more cushy when you’re a teenager
Don’t worry, your little Quasimodo won’t risk picking up STDs, or fooling around with his friends to end up at the police station or God knows where. No, because he won’t have sex. And friends, even less. Problem solved.
8. Because he will be more seasoned
We know children are cruel to each other. From the primary, it risks taking very very expensive, daily. Insults of all kinds, rackets, bullying, head in the toilet… The good thing is that surviving this will probably help him one day. If he goes to prison for example.
9. Because it will probably be easier to find a job…
In a circus for example. “Pedro, the tapir child…”
10. Because you won’t notice anyway…
Obviously, it’s yours, no matter the shape of his little face, it will obviously be the most beautiful of the maternity ward, of the nursery, then of school. The base. And then you still have to admit that his hare beak and his single eyebrow gives him a crazy charm.
“Listen, Quasimodo, I don’t think you quite understood what we just told you. You’re too ugly to be talked to, so you go back to your steeple to eat your pigeon droppings. I’m sure your father when he saw you at birth, he thought your mother had slept with… a shepherd’s pie…”