In two days we learned that Jeff Bezos’ rocket Blue Origin had just crashed and that the next lunar mission of the Artemis rocket was going to be delayed. That’s a lot of news on the world of rocketry. So yes, it’s good to want to discover the stuff we don’t know about space but ultimately wouldn’t it be the time when we all sit around a table and discuss quietly and STOP THESE PUT *IN SPACE CONQUEST BULLSHIT? In any case, we are giving you some arguments that go in this direction, because five minutes are going well.
1. Honestly, nobody cares
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But literally everyone. I asked a sample of 4.2 billion human beings using a subtle questionnaire system by email and the conclusion is clear: no one cares about the conquest of space since it does not even concern 1% of the population.
2. It’s just an idea like that but maybe we have better things to do with all this money
When we look at all the money that we throw into these stupid projects just to send three people to shit each other in a station that orbits the Earth, we can quite easily say to ourselves that all this money could be used to settle everything a bunch of other problems, like better paying football players or getting Bernard Arnault a new private jet.
3. I remind you that we have not yet discovered all the secrets of our planet
Yeah because in the end it seems pretty stupid to try to find out why there are traces of fossilized puddles of water on Mars when we don’t even know how many species there are in the oceans on Earth. And what good is it to know what the fleet tasted like millions of years ago on another planet? Dammit. Yes, yes, I know there is a dark history of research behind this madness of grandeur, but that does not excuse everything and certainly space tourism.
4. Given what we have done to our planet, we may not go and rot everything elsewhere
As humans we have an annoying tendency to fuck everything we touch: we are able to do great and beautiful things but generally we manage to shit on what surrounds us and destroy everything to make parking lots . So if a part of the world is still virgin of plastic packaging and other human pollution as much as it stays like that.
5. Let’s be honest, this is arguably the biggest cock contest in history…
The conquest of space historically was still the thing on which Russia and the United States fought to find out who had the biggest. They did not go to the moon to advance science but mainly to prove to themselves that they were better than others. Great state of mind.
6. … or a billionaire thing with an oversized ego
The second category of people who want to go into space at all costs are the Jeff Bezos and other Elon Musks, great people who are rotting our planet by making millions while trying at all costs to shoot to rot other planets (Jeff Bezos literally said that polluting industries should be moved to space). And as much to tell you, their project is not to make everyone crunch, space tourism will remain a big rich thing.
7. We have enough problems here to create more up there
Yeah, finally between the financial crises, the armed conflicts, the inequalities between countries, the famines, the climate emergency, the ambient hatred and the films of Maïwenn there are perhaps some tricky things to settle here before leaving all there -up to find out what Uranus smells like (I took that planet name on purpose yeah) or if there is a ball-shaped crater on the surface of the Moon.
8. Because it’s super cold up there
We don’t talk about it enough but it makes anyone want to go and curdle their loaves in a rotten resort where you can’t move and where you spend your time taking pictures to feed your Instagram eating compote. You stick a finger out and that’s the last you’ll see.
9. There are a whole bunch of movies that prove to us that space travel NEVER goes well.
Alien, Alien 2, Alien 3 (well you get the idea), Life, Prometheus, 2001 a space odyssey, sunshine, Red Planet, Gravity, Interstellar, Stuart Little 2… No movie that takes place in space shows us a smooth and peaceful journey, it might be time to interpret these signals.
10. Travel is said to be a hit.
You imagine being swung around at such high speed that you shit yourself, strapped to an uncomfortable seat in a smelly ship, with people you barely know and don’t particularly like and don’t know when you’re going to get home. or even if you will come back alive? Take a carpool in the South it’s the same and it costs less.