Top 10 reasons to hate backpackers, these envoys of the devil

When it comes to holidays, there are two contradictory schools. On the one hand, the organized trip with CE option, the bus waiting, the smelly 4-star hotels, the ruddy people with shirts, the impression of living in hell; on the other, the trip to the roots, backpack on the back, hair everywhere and maximum comfort. Question hell, one all over, ball in the center. But unlike the first, the backpackers also think that their trip will interest everyone.

1. Because they stink from not washing and hiking all the time.

A bus trip with a backpacker next to you is like diving into a giant Brie de Meaux for 20 hours. It’s cool hiking, but please don’t take off walking pumps next to me, you filthy piece of shit.

Top 10 reasons to hate backpackers these envoys of the
Picture credits: Topito

2. Because they’re dressed like bags

With their tank tops, their gore-tex t-shirts, their thousand-pocket shorts and their shitty pumps, they spoil the landscape and turn any nice place into a Quechua festival. Go and visit hell rather than ruin our lives.

3. Because their travelogues piss everyone off

Couldn’t you enjoy your vacation somewhere like everyone else? Did you have to travel the world? Did you have to take 600,000 photos? Did you have to impose them on everyone when you came back with your camping tan? You’re pissing us off, Fred.

4. Because they turn holidays into hell

“Are we going for a hike? » « We absolutely have to walk in these mountains in the middle of a dodger with a 10 kg backpack on our backs! “Come on, don’t stay here, the world is full of things to discover!” »

And if I wanted to stay there, me? What if I didn’t feel like going on a hellish hike in the middle of the dodger at all to be eaten by mini-mosquitoes? ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT ME?

5. Because they are semi-hippies and we want to burn the hippies

With their bullshit phrases, their certainty that they behave well and their zero impact on the planet, hippies are treacherous beings whose sole purpose in life is to make you feel guilty between joints.

6. Because they carry a lousy bag all the time and hit you with it.

Oh sorry, oh sorry! You see them, at the airport, with their visorless caps and their huge bag of shit. Their huge bag which contains an incalculable number of shitty clothes and gourds. Their huge bag that you just got caught in the mouth again in the check-in line. To avoid that, I recommend our unusual backpacks, at least it will be funnier.

7. Because they always have advice for you whenever you go on a trip somewhere

Impossible to take a quiet trip with the impression that your vacation belongs to you. Impossible, since, wherever you go, a backpacker will have great advice to give you on the unmissable places. The guys are living backpacker’s guides and, if I don’t buy the backpacker’s guide, there’s a reason for that.

8. Because they are broke like wheat and do not even support the economies of the poor countries where they go

They hang around in all the poor countries of the world and haggle over everything. They eat in the most typical restaurants – in other words, the cheapest. They buy rotten handicrafts while discussing the prices. They go out of their way to get discounts all the time, everywhere. They jabber two local language words and believe they have a special connection with the natives. They are assholes.

Top 10 differences between parents on the left and parents
Picture credits: Topito

9. Because they’re made of hair

3 month beard for men, leg hair for girls; the only thing made of hair that I knew, until then, was a dog stupid as its feet and it was already too much.

10. Because they ruin all their Instagram photos by posing on them

With their shitty clothes, their shitty bag, their shitty hair, their shitty smile, their two shitty local language words, their shitty camera and their shitty money, they ruin the landscape, and it’s impossible then to find a nice photo of a beautiful place for a lambda editor like me who just tries to do his job as well as possible thank you good evening.

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