We talk about it a lot on Topito Parents, you will have understood it well: having a kid means facing a fairly enormous amount of constraints. So yes, a baby is cute, it has tiny feet, it has no teeth and it’s so cute when it sleeps. Yes having children is to make sure you have descendants, and not to die alone in your apartment (whatever). But cats are so much better.
1. You don’t have to change her diapers.
A litter to change once a week (and again huh), and that’s good, you’re cushy. No diapers to change, no poop slipping under your fingernails, no need to empty your bank account of half a minimum wage per month to keep your buttocks dry. Besides a cat, it doesn’t need you to wipe its streak afterwards.
2. You just have to give him kibble
A bowl of croquettes, and it’s settled! You don’t need to plan special menus based on organic salt-free broccoli puree, or milk bottles prepared every 3 hours during the night when you clearly have something else to give a damn (like sleeping, for example) .
3. You can continue to go away for the weekend
The good thing about a cat (clearly better than a baby, or even worse: a dog) is that you can leave it at home for two days while you go party at your house. campaign of your friends, or the time to go on a weekend with your boyfriend, alone, alone, alone. With a baby, it’s not the same AT ALL.
4. It keeps you warm in winter
It’s raining outside, you’re in your pajamas on your sofa re-doing the entire Downton Abbey, and your little cat comes to curl up against you, all warm. Excuse me huh, but if you have another definition of happiness, I’m curious to hear it.
5. It purrs
Do you have trouble waking up, it’s cold outside and your duvet is your best friend? Add to that a very soft little cat that sticks to you and purrs, and there it is the best moment of your day. Babies don’t purr, they drag you out of bed crying and screaming because they don’t get their bottle of milk right away.
6. It’s full of fluffy hair
Is a baby soft like a kitten? I do not think so, no. Do you want to dig your fingers under your child’s coat? Neither (or you are particularly weird, you have to consult very quickly).
7. No need to give him a bath every day
A cat is very practical: in addition to going to its litter alone and getting out of shit, it also washes itself. No need to fill the tub and have rubber duckies lying around your bathroom, a cat is self-cleaning. And yeah.
8. It doesn’t bother your friends on vacation
What could be more boring, when you rent a shack with friends during the summer, than having a kid in the middle? He cries, he only eats Swiss cheese, and you mustn’t make too much noise to avoid waking him up. All the organization of the day revolves around his little person. Whereas if you bring your cat back, everyone will want to pet it and sleep with it.
9. It costs less than a baby
A litter box, a bag of litter, kibble and a toy or two: that’s all a cat will cost you. I would make you a list of everything you need to buy for the birth of a child, but you are on a Top site, you can imagine that you will find hundreds of them.
10. You can give him a stupid name
Calling your child Beelzebub or Cacao doesn’t really help him in his future life, we agree. Well, call him Kevin either, but it’s a matter of choice huh. While a cat, you can call him Adolf, nobody cares. Go let yourself go, it’s your time.