Top 10 proofs that yoga is a dangerous sport, let’s do something else instead

Do you do yoga? Stop right away. Because you are told that there are plenty of positive effects of yoga, ok, but have you heard of the negative or even completely dangerous effects of this practice??? Of course not. We are hiding the truth from you. But I, today, I tell you everything, because you deserve to know. And I hope that after reading this top you will stop going to rooms where people in leggings say “Namaste”.

1. There are yoga positions that can cause vertebral fractures or collapses

This is probably the only real argument you will read in this top so enjoy it my dear yogis.

2. When you practice yoga, you quickly find yourself wearing yoga pants.

At first you just wear it during class, then it goes into a spin and you end up wearing it all the time. After that your style is ruined, your social life is ruined (because your friends can’t stand seeing you in yucky leggings anymore) and your parents decide to disinherit you to avoid seeing their fortune spent on new yoga pants. Don’t fall in there.

3. A woman broke 100 bones while practicing yoga.

She fell 25 meters after trying to achieve a position. And after you still think that yoga is good for your health? Let me think otherwise…

4. A man forced a plane to land while doing yoga.

The guy was doing yoga on the plane (who does that again?) and his wife asked him to go back to his seat. He pushed her. We got into a fight with some Marines who were passengers on the same flight. The yoga practitioner bit them and headbutted them, and the plane had to crash-land. Conclusion: yoga makes you violent.

5. When you do yoga, you can’t go anywhere without your yoga mat.

You have to carry it everywhere with you, which takes up space in your luggage. Space that you free up by removing essential things from your bag such as soap or underwear. It’s the beginning of the end for you and your hygiene.

Top 10 proofs that yoga is a dangerous sport, let's do something else instead
Photo credits (Public Domain): The author could not be identified automatically. It is assumed to be: Ilkant~commonswiki (given the copyright claim).

6. A woman was arrested for practicing nude yoga on a highway.

So, in addition to making people violent, yoga leads people to adopt behaviors that are dangerous both for themselves and for others. Great…….

7. A yoga instructor fractured a woman’s femur while giving her a class.

He wanted her to perform the “dragon pose”. No, but “dragon pose”, really?? When is it safe to practice a move called “dragon pose”? Have you ever seen a dragon?? You really have to be completely unconscious to actually do yoga.

8. A yoga teacher caused a big fire by trying to heat bear urine.

Yoga -> fire.

What else to add?

9. It’s dangerous for your social life because afterwards you have to be woken up at 7 a.m. to do your stretching

You even have to get up at 5 a.m. to prepare and drink your detox juice so you can’t go out too late at night with your friends. Anyway, no bar makes this guava-chicory tea that you love so much, so what’s the point.

10. Yoga is dangerous for your savings.

Because afterwards you feel like you have to go on silent yoga retreats and invest in the latest fluffy 100% cotton mat that costs a ball and buy yoga gifts for your friends who don’t care fuck.

And there are plenty of stupid yogas, as if that weren’t enough.

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