OK, the Middle Ages and Antiquity are not necessarily the periods in which we would like to teleport (hello, life expectancy at 45). We can criticize many things, but not their ultra-ecological lifestyle. Take it easy (but not too much either, it’s a bit filthy anyway…)!
1. Among the Romans, urine was used as mouthwash
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We couldn’t find a more natural product! A small shot of pee, and presto, smile Colgate! In reality, it is the ammonia contained in the urine which has bleaching properties. Who would have thought that urine was an ally against yellow teeth, seriously?
2. Pee was also used to loosen clothes
And always for the same virtues! Indeed, at the time, if you brought your sheets to the laundry, you actually paid for a guy to soak your clothes in small baths of urine diluted with water, tranquillou. Yucky, but kinder to the planet than all those ultra-chemical whitening products.
3. Tutankhamun’s mask was a second-hand product
According to several Egyptologists, the famous mask was initially not intended for him. Several arguments to reinforce this theory: the pharaoh died young (around 17 years old), and took everyone by surprise. According to Egyptian funeral rites, no more than two months could elapse between death and the closing of the sarcophagus. However, the production of such a mask takes much longer to produce. For some scholars, it was made for his mother-in-law, Nefertiti. In 2014, scientists discovered on the back of the mask that the name “Tutankhamun” covered up an earlier inscription.
4. In the 18th and 19th centuries, dentures were made from the teeth of dead soldiers
What could be cheaper, visually very realistic and solid, than real teeth to fill the gaps left on a gum? The question was quickly answered in 1815, when some opportunists preferred to recover the teeth of soldiers who had died on the battlefield of Waterloo, rather than breaking the bank for ivory teeth, which were not very solid and quite cheap. These somewhat morbid prostheses have been renamed “Waterloo teeth”. Ethically questionable, but ecologically unbeatable!
5. They shared the same sponge to wipe their butts
As the old saying goes “La mia cacca è la tua cacca” (“my poo is your poo”, in Italian). (I lied, this adage does not exist.) (But admit that it could have!) (Is this succession of parentheses stressing you out? Well, sorry, it’s not over…) (I’m kidding, it’s good, It’s over). SHORT. In Roman cities, there were many public toilets. They were often luxurious and decorated with marble and paintings. The Romans settled on benches with holes, below which were the sewers. Each of them could accommodate a dozen people at the same time. In addition to sharing the same space and good little smells, they also and above all had… Only one sponge to wipe their derche (a xylospongium, its sweet name). One, for twelve. One, for the day. One, for the hundreds of people who parade there. YUM. Disgusting, but much greener than our 8 rolls of PQ per month and per person.
6. They concocted energy drinks with goat dung
Goat droppings were not wasted! In addition to using them to bandage their wounds, they also mixed them with vinegar as an energy drink. Holy mix. According to Pliny the Elder, a Roman writer, Emperor Nero was crazy about it. It’s certainly not worth a good little Perrier Energize in terms of taste, but it’s much more natural.
7. All vegetables were organic
No pesticides, no planes to transport products from one continent to another, and not even America yet to repatriate coffee and exotic fruits. Good little vegetables from the vegetable garden, grown with love, passion, and fatigue.
8. We were in “slow fashion” mode
And we didn’t overwash our clothes. During the reign of Elizabeth I (1558-1603), for example, no washing process was known for silk or satin. So we were content with a little brush stroke and a splash of perfume. In Victorian times, ladies’ dressing rooms usually consisted of two or three woolen dresses, which they wore all year round. Slow, very slow, fashion mood!
9. We traveled on horseback
The car of old times, with less pollution. I’m not saying that a horse doesn’t emit CO2, I’m just saying that it doesn’t consume any fossil energy to move forward. Unlike our large cars, all the CO2 emitted is previously captured in the atmosphere. Good after, yes… We said ecological, not fast, huh!
10. The houses were insulated with natural products
Exit the glass wool and other harmful insulation, in the Middle Ages, we were content simply to fill the holes between the stones with mud and straw. Nothing more. Enough to keep the heat emitted by the fireplace, and not by our old ultra-energy-intensive radiators, pf.