Top 10 proofs that guacamole is really crap, the devil’s food

We are stuffed with guacamole, we don’t care about all the sauces (trololol). But clearly, this accompaniment is overrated and does not deserve all the attention it is given. If you had to unclog the toilet with one food, it would obviously be guacamole. That’s why…

1. Avocado, its main ingredient, is the cause of worsening deforestation in Mexico

It is there that each year more than 4.7 million tons of avocado are produced, which supply 30% of world consumption. And the environmental impact is really not folichon. Indeed, the production of this fruit is very profitable but requires a lot of water (the avocado absorbs twice as much as the others), pesticides and specific arrangements to the detriment of other crops.

Top 10 proofs that guacamole is really crap, the devil's food

2. It’s either completely bland or too spicy

There is no middle ground. Either you feel like you’re eating baby vomit (no taste, I don’t recommend it), or you feel like we’ve lit a fire on your palate. And frankly, it’s a very unpleasant impression.

3. It rhymes with demi-mole

And that says a lot about what it feels like to eat it: mediocre enjoyment, partial satiety, and eventual frustration at not having grabbed that jar of tarama next door because it cost thirty cents more. Next time you’ll be less stingy.

4. It’s just high calorie

No, but whose face are we kidding? Avocado is three times more caloric than any fruit or vegetable. So you, you’re quite happy to dip your doritos without pressure, you feel like you’re taking care of your body… But NENNI. And don’t tell us it’s the chips’ fault, huh, you won’t fool us.

5. Because it spawned this song of doom I’ve had in my head for three years.

I am in pain.

6. Guacamole oxidizes very quickly and it’s ugly to see

No, but seriously, after a few hours, he no longer looks like anything, he turns into a maronnasse. We no longer want to dip anything in it. And don’t give a shit about your bullshit “wellness” tricks of preventing oxidation with lemon. Who cares, we said.

7. It would help fight period pain…anything

As if the chicks really suffered during their periods… Everyone knows that it’s only cinema to get noticed. Real buffoons. The next time a girl around you complains, throw a lawyer in her face, it will do her good. Go peace.

(Disclaimer: we laugh, we calm down, nobody moves).

8. Who eats something green goose poo? WHO ?

No but seriously, this color makes you want to puke, which is frankly not the expected effect for food, is it? I suggest that in addition to the pesticides and additives that are sometimes found in guacamole, we also add coloring to fix the whole mess. WHAT’S ALREADY?

9. To choose between tzatziki, tarama, hummus and guacamole, the choice is made very quickly

EVERYTHING. Except the guacamole. Well at the same time, we must admit that here, we have developed a big addiction to hummus, which clearly prevents us from expressing ourselves in a totally objective way. But you forgive us for being kind and selfless.

10. Because it’s me who decides so you don’t argue

And that you’re reading my top so if you don’t agree, you can say so in the comments insulting me handsomely, I don’t care, no one has respected me since I was eight .

So if you can still eat it after discovering that it was bad for the environment, that it was probably going to precipitate your death and that frankly, it had no taste, we can do nothing more for you. NOTHING.

Image Source: Wikipedia

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