We laughed about it for a while, saying he was whimsical, extravagant, original, unpredictable, sometimes bordering on scandalous… But there is something wrong with Elon Musk and the more we scratch the surface, the more the reality is obvious: this man ticks all the boxes to be a perfect supervillain of Hollywood films and would completely have his place in the role of the antagonist of the next James Bond. You do not believe me ? So let’s see it together.
1. He is already a billionaire and manages not to pay a lot of taxes
Well, not all billionaires are super villains, but most super villains have money, and so do the majority of James Bond haters. Add to that the fact that he’s on the list of billionaires who don’t pay a lot of taxes and it ticks the box for someone who still scheming in the back kitchen.
The fictional villain this looks like: At random, the number in Casino Royalehe has so much money that his nickname is a synonym for amount.
2. Because he gave his son a name that sounds like a sleazy incantation
“X Æ A-Xii”, don’t tell me that doesn’t sound like something a crazy old man could yell to wake up cthulhu or any other crap that comes to eat us. “The variable of the unknown, a model airplane and the elven alphabet” my ass yeah, it’s not a first name it’s a horcrux that will bring this bastard Voldemort back to us once someone someone will put it back in the right order.
The fictional villain this looks like: Any minion trying to wake up Sauron or that kind of big bad guy.
3. He wants to send thousands of satellites around the Earth
We told you about it in Elon Musk’s cool moves, the billionaire wants to send 42,000 satellites into orbit around our beautiful planet in order to allow a high-speed internet connection anywhere in the world. Surrounding the Earth with thousands of machines that swing waves if that doesn’t sound like a “machiavellian plan” I don’t know what you need. Who gives a fuck about having a network on the ice floe? In 10 years it will no longer exist anyway.
The fictional villain this looks like: Richmond Valentine in the movie Kingsmana billionaire who, under the guise of giving free internet to the whole world, makes people kill each other because of the airwaves.
4. Because he is not friendly with his employees
Many rather comical stories tarnish the reputation of the billionaire as a business leader. Between its false authorization to work from home during the pandemic, the number of covid-19 cases which skyrocketed in the Tesla factory and the history of unfair dismissals of several unionized employees, it is still not the palm of the management that we should give him a run.
The fictional villain this looks like: Doctor Hell in Austin Powers, clearly the worst boss but at the same time he is funny. It’s up to everyone to make their own choices…
5. He wants to put chips in our brains.
His company Neuralink is working on electronic implants that can be integrated into the brain. Thanks to this shit we might be able to do all sorts of things with our minds, as shown in the video of a monkey playing a video game. pong without touching the controller. Obviously there would be no repercussions, intrusions or unexpected twists to this project.
The fictional villain this looks like: In the movie Upgrade, a paralyzed man is given an implant that is supposed to help him walk again. I’m not going to spoil the film for you, but the inventor of the implant in question would not be my first choice of companion for a week’s vacation in the Gard.
6. He wants to push the limits of artificial intelligence
Between autonomous cars with You’re here and his project OpenIA which consists of creating an artificial intelligence capable of making art, Musk wishes to advance research on the evolution of AIs and increase the power that can be granted to them. Do I really have to list you the number of works in which this idea goes completely wrong?
The fictional villain this looks like: Random look Ex Machina, that will give you an idea of what can happen. It’s a good movie, but it better stay one.
7. He wants to colonize Mars even if it will cost a lot of people their lives
He who wants humans to be able to colonize Mars completely agrees that it will kill a lot of people trying since he had said “Honestly there will probably be deaths at the start”. It’s beautiful this sense of sacrifice in the conquest of space, but keep in mind that it is not included in the list of people who will potentially die, suddenly it is immediately less classy.
The fictional villain this looks like: Well, someone who seeks to accomplish something regardless of the number of deaths it will cause, isn’t that just the thing that all fictional villains have in common?
8. He made and sold flamethrowers
Through his company “The Boring Company”, Musk had sold nearly 20,000 flamethrowers worldwide calling them “Not a flame-thrower” to circumvent international arms sales laws. The problem is that we found several during police seizures and various arrests. Allowing the public to buy such a powerful weapon by circumventing the law is still a fucking act of supervillain.
The fictional villain this looks like: In the manga Monster, the villain manages to spin weapons to all the inhabitants of a city to sow chaos. Frankly a guy who sells weapons you can not defend him.
9. He wants to recreate dinosaurs
It’s through his partner in the company Neuralink that we had been treated to tweets that implied that “we could probably build a Jurassic Park if we wanted to. “If the recreated dinosaurs would not be species that really existed, they would be very close to those from which they are inspired and that is a bit freaking out because all the same, it is very frankly reminiscent of the films.
The fictional villain this looks like: Even if it’s not necessarily a villain, the old professor John Hammond at the origin of the creation of the Jurassic Park nevertheless proved that it was truly a shitty idea. There’s been a bunch of films, none of them end well, it’s a sign.
10. He wants to bombard Mars with nuclear warheads.
It’s very serious, basically Elon Musk wants us to bomb Mars in order to release the CO2 that is in the ice and create a kind of greenhouse effect to go there quietly thereafter. Throwing nuclear bombs to rot a second planet is still super evil.
The fictional villain this looks like: Bah take any film of extra-terrestrials who want to destroy the Earth and it’s the same, from Mars Attack to Independance Day Passing by war of the Worldsit’s the same spirit in reverse, they probably all had very good reasons to come and bombard us in the face.