That’s it, you’ve officially entered the club of child makers, and now that you’re not just a human being but also a parent, your dating will clearly evolve. So you find yourself spending time with unsuspecting people, whether you like it or not.
1. His father / his mother
Yes, your buddy, the one who made the child with you. Now he’s not just your guy or your girl, he’s also the second parent of the offspring, the one who knows him as much as you do, the one who makes the decisions for him with you, and sometimes you get a little fed up the ass to hang out with him just as a parent. You would like to find your couple, but it is not yet the case. Tighten your buttocks, it will come back.
2. Your mother
You thought you were a little rid of her since you became an adult and independent, but now that you are a mother in your turn, it’s over. She’s there, often, too often, if it’s not physically it’s on the phone, and she always wants to make sure you’re doing things right for your kid, like you’re not fucked up. raise without his help. Expect to receive advice all the time, even when you haven’t asked for it.
3. Your midwife
You thought you were rid of it now that the squatter of your womb has cleared the premises? Failed, you will continue to see her a little, at first to check that your kid is gaining weight, then afterwards to check that your perineum has not run off with your childbirth.
4. The pediatrician
You’re going to see him pretty much for everything and nothing at first, especially for nothing, because your kid has hiccups and you don’t know what to do, because he has a runny nose, then because he is really sick, the fault of the first year of crèche which will put his entire immune system to the test. Remember to take a loyalty card from him, you risk squatting his cabinet very very often.
5. Other children
It’s a fact: having a child attracts other kids. Now that you are evolving in the sweet sphere of parenthood, you will see how there are a lot of kids around you, that you had not necessarily noticed before. Now you see them everywhere, all the time.
6. Your friends are also parents
Because they’re the only ones who can understand your new way of life, since they too have been there. They’re the only ones who understand that you can’t have an unexpected aperitif party because you don’t have a nanny, and the only ones who understand your distress when you say that your kid still doesn’t sleep through the night. .
7. All the people who have an opinion on your kid’s education
And that’s a bunch of people, it’s pretty crazy as a phenomenon. Above all, we notice that those who have not given birth themselves have a rather incredible facility in issuing a judgment or an educational advice, when they should just be content to keep their mouths shut.
8. The Nanny
You see her morning and evening, when you drop off or pick up your kid, you have blind faith in her because you don’t really have a choice, she takes care of what is most precious to you. So you’re nice to her, you even give her little gifts from time to time, to stay in her good graces (and especially so that she doesn’t plant you at the last moment).
9. Your in-laws
You saw them before from time to time, for family meals or family events. Now that you have made them an heir, they are there far too often, and you have to be careful that the custody time is well shared between your own parents and them.
10. The ghost of your life before
Him, he appears from time to time, when you see an event from one of your friends on Facebook and you’re not invited, when your phone no longer receives text messages on Friday or Saturday evening to suggest going for a drink, when you have no more anecdotes from your last evening to tell, other than “he slept for 6 hours in a row, it was too good”. It’s all over, but just for a few months or years, I promise.