Grandparents are often nice people, a little doting and who give Christmas money. Unfortunately, they are also people without any tact and some disguise their reproaches with a honeyed tone, good passive-aggressive as we like. We all know those unbearable phrases from grandparents and fortunately, we have plenty of ideas for phrases to screw up family meals and give them back their own coin.
1. “But don’t you have any warm clothes?”
You’ve barely walked through the door when your grandmother is already judging your outfit. You wear jeans and a sweatshirt under your coat but apparently that’s not enough. “But I’m warm enough Grandma!” “Hang on, I’m going to lend you a jumper, it’ll be better than your crumpled cotton thing there… And don’t you want me to sew your pants up?” There are wires sticking out, you make me ashamed! “. What happiness!
2. “You must not eat this often at home huh!”
As soon as your grandmother puts vegetables in a frying pan or pulls a chicken out of the oven, she assumes that you haven’t eaten so well in months. It’s true that at home, you feed exclusively on what you find in the neighbors’ garbage cans because you can’t cut a tomato.
3. “You know the neighbor’s daughter is pregnant? But she’s younger than you…”
Thank you for this information grandpa, I love hearing from people I don’t know. In these moments, no answer is the right one because you know very well what you are going to hear next; the famous: “And you children, when is it for? Are you waiting until we’re dead? “. Huge atmosphere.
4. “I can buy you new shoes if you want”
What could be more passive-aggressive than pointing out that your shoes aren’t to their liking assuming you can’t afford to buy more? Besides, you can’t get offended because it’s “nice” of him. So you just say “Oh no that’s nice, I have others at home” and you let it go.
5. “I imagine you’ll be coming alone for Christmas? Your brother invited his girlfriend so I’d rather ask.”
What could be more fun for grandparents than comparing their grandchildren? There is the one who is married, the other who is pregnant, the one who has a great job and besides that, there are those who live in Paris (a heresy for grandparents) and who are not even betrothed (shame).
6. “Ah you made pizzas? It’s… original”
When your grandparents don’t judge the state of your home (which is much too small according to them), they attack what you offer to eat. Anyway, as soon as it comes out of the traditional chicken and potatoes or veal with vegetables, it makes them feel weird.
7. “Brown hair looked better on you, too bad.”
“Ah okay, thank you grandma…” There are people who like to hurt people for nothing but, who knows why, some grandparents are really good at it. And since they’re old, we don’t have the right to answer “Well, I find this dress particularly hideous, it doesn’t suit you at all”. Too unfair.
8. “So, did you get a real job?”
How many times do I have to tell you grandpa, just because I work with a computer doesn’t mean it’s not a real job! I have a damn payslip!
9. “It’s a shame that Mathieu didn’t come… especially since it’s probably my last Christmas (sigh)”
To ruin the family meal, your grandparents love to refer to their next death to make everyone feel guilty. It always has its little effect.
10. “Are you repeating your first year? If you spent less time on your phone too…”
It’s true that it’s always the fault of the telephones, the airwaves, the internet and all that mess that they don’t understand… It would be nice if it were that simple anyway.