You see me coming up with South Park, Beavis and Butt-Head and other sick stuff. Well no: the creepy hides in the details, and the adorable heroes who populated our childhood dreams are for some huge losers conveying shitty values. Take Oui-Oui, always happy, always nodding his big head: a kid driving a taxi to pay his rent because he’s been abandoned, do you find that educational?
1. Renart scoundrel
Table of Contents
The cartoon Me, Renart is freely adapted from the Roman de Renart. There, it is said. Otherwise, Renart arrives at his uncle Ysengrin who offers him a job and leaves directly with the cash register. Too nice, Renart. Then Renart steals other stuff, lies, wears a jacket too big to fit cool, drives a motorbike haphazardly and runs away from the police, sexually harasses a vixen who ends up succumbing to his Stockholm syndrome-like charm and, let’s be clear, donates absolutely nothing of what he steals from the poor. In addition, the credits suggest that he is cocked.
2. Nicky Larson
Nicky Larson spends her time boozing, trying to jump anything that moves while hitting stops and shooting her gun. This polymorphic pervert accepts to fulfill missions for a girlfriend of the police against sexual remuneration. More beautiful, you die. “Are you coming to my move? “Okay, but are you sucking me?” You imagine the picture.
3. Splinter, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Doesn’t a hairy old bachelor walking around in a bathrobe remind you of a former presidential candidate? The original title of Ninja Turtles is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. teenager. Splinter, may play the Greek philosopher, a hairy old bachelor who walks around in a bathrobe with a court of teenagers, it still does not care.
4.Casper
Casper is a dead AND depressed child who unwittingly scares everyone. Yes, it’s sad for him. But it’s also creepy as hell. Fortunately, he befriends two children, who are very much alive. “My only friend is a dead child. First step in a long series that leads to wearing studded necklaces, listening to Nirvana, then trying to open one’s veins with a sheet of A4 paper. Not to mention that we don’t know exactly what he does to children when they sleep at night…
5. Space goblins
4 morons eat crisps and watch “Les gendarmettes en thong” non-stop on TV, while a fifth, who is breaking his ass making a machine to return to their planet, passes for a big pretentious idiot. The only effeminate character is OBVIOUSLY the one who does the cleaning. The worst roommate in the world.
6. Mademoiselle Bille-head, from the magic bus
Valérie Bille-en-Tête is a teacher on LSD who kidnaps an entire class to drag them into her cameo madness aboard an out of control bus. What are we having fun! Nobody talks about the grieving parents, the cost to the community when the cops issue the kidnapping alert, the carbon footprint of a 1995 bus that starts to fly.
7. Billy Ze Cat
It’s not so much Billy himself that’s the problem, but the moral of the story; a 10-year-old kid has fun torturing cats. For although he understands that it is not nice, a magician-I-meddle-in-the-business-of-others transforms him into an alley cat and leaves him like shit on the sidewalk, subject to the law of stronger. For all time.
It’s educational: besides, when little Theo brought me back an 8 in geometry, I bludgeoned his face with blows of the pump, to the little idiot.
8. Widgets
The other green hero, less known than Captain Planet. Widget is an ultra-guilt-ridden little purple monster who wants to save the Earth from the hands of Megaslang. Megaslang is simply looking to collect animals and plants to save his own planet, Titanium. Widget will do everything to prevent it, on the orders of an intergalactic guru in a cape, by doing the maximum shit in ecological reserves. In addition, Widget spends his time eating vegetarian, making the kids feel guilty who agree to help him.
9. Courage the cowardly dog
Among the most glaucous atmospheres of television. As with Billy ze Cat, the problem is less about the character than the series itself. Courage is a completely disgusting dog who lives in the house of horrors, where he is confronted with demons, zombies, monsters and absolutely terrifying dreams. Cartoon Network targeted 8-year-olds. They must not have had the same childhood as the others.
10. Yes-Yes
Alright, he’s a kid. A wooden kid, but a kid nonetheless. He lives in his “house-for-him-all-alone” and takes the taxi to pay for it, his “house-for-him-all-alone”, in Miniville, where rents must rise. We had to offer him, he said yes. In fact, it’s the absolute triumph of capitalism, Oui-Oui: we make the kids work, ouioui, then we give them a car so that they keep their mouths shut. Come on, it’s seven o’clock, the kid at work.
11. (Bonus) Bender
Bender has zero empathy, continuously drinks beer, steals, cheats, and lies, bullies Frye and his friends, is absolutely never reliable, and is a sexual voyeur. But at least he’s not pretending. Nothing to say, Bender is cool.