Top 10 of the most badass princesses in history, even better than a Disney

“One day my prince will come, one day I will cut off his head, and I will go off to be a pirate or wrestle with all my enamored followers, and I will cut off their heads. »

Snow White wouldn’t make that kind of oath.

1. Urraque of Zamora

King Ferdinand of Leon had 5 children: Sancho, the eldest boy, other boys who don’t care, Urraque, the eldest girl, and another girl who doesn’t care. On his death in 1065, Ferdinand, known as Ferdinando to his friends, divided his kingdom among them all. Urraque recovered the city of Zamora and Sancho all of Castile. Which was not enough to install his collection of stamps, since Sancho decided to attack his brothers and sisters. He then besieged Zamora and broke his teeth (which he had very pretty).

From his besieged city, Urraque indeed had the intelligence to make a pact with Alphonse, another of his brothers who had sworn allegiance to Sancho, to assassinate said Sancho. Quickly done well done, hi artist. Then she summoned everyone and gave the kingdom to Alphonse. Urraque, she preferred to remain cushy in Zamora, where the climate is said to be very mild.

2. Alvilda

It would seem that Alvilda’s father, a gothic king extremely protective of his daughter, spent his time pissing her off with veils over her face so she wouldn’t be seen by men and protective vipers in her room. . One guy, however, managed to convince the daddy that he was good enough to be able to marry Alvilda. But Alvilda preferred to become a pirate rather than marry him; she gathers other female pirates around her as well as male pirates madly in love with the female piracy team and builds herself a small fleet from behind the bundles.

You want to marry me ? Look, you’re cute, but I’m gonna put on this blindfold and poke the muskets instead, okay?

3. Zhao of Pingyang

Zhao of Pingyang is a bit of an upstart in the world of princesses, as her father didn’t become Emperor of China until after she was born. Tang Gaozu, founder of the Tang dynasty, overthrew the Sui dynasty in 618 and seized power over this country which, eh, we know is as mysterious as it is ancestral. But hey, Zhao deserved her title, since she alone recruited 70,000 soldiers to fight with her in what was then called the Army of the Lady. Zhao was 19 years old. At 19, I was not leading soldiers.

4. Alice from UK

The third child of Queen Victoria, Alice had haemophilia. That didn’t stop her from doing a lot of cool stuff, like supporting the feminist cause at the end of the 19th century, campaigning for women’s education, running hospitals and working as a nurse during the Austro-Prussian war in 1866 when she was pregnant to the eye. Add to that a shitty life, with a son dying at 3 and dying at 35, and you’ve got a short, full life.

5. Khutulun

Born in 1260, the Mongol princess Khutulun was known throughout China for her fondness for caning. In addition to fighting on the battlefield, his ultimate love was to practice wrestling. Yes, wrestling, that thing where you’re more likely to wear leather briefs than princess dresses. She therefore swore that she would never marry a guy who proved incapable of beating her in a ring. No one ever beat her. She got married anyway. You should never say fountain, all that all that.

Khutulun was so cool that even Marco Polo says she is cool in her writing.

6. Brunhild

A character from Norse mythology who we can calmly imagine did not really exist but let’s pretend, Brunehilde finds herself in impossible stories. First, she angers Odin, a rather tough god, by slicing a sword fight between two kings in favor of a king whom Odin liked average. Since Odin was quite a strict guy, he locked Brunhild in an ugly tower where she was made to sleep in flames. There followed a threesome-style amorous imbroglio that ended in the death of everyone, Brunhild killing one of the suitors who had killed the other and, seized with remorse, deciding to throw herself Joan of Arc style in the pyre of the man she had killed. That’s something other than castle life.

7. Isabella of France

Nicknamed “La louve de France”, Isabelle was not the kind of girl you could talk to in English. Married at the age of 12 to gay Prince Edward of England and exiled across the Channel, Isabelle was hunkered down. Edward hooked up with a new guy, Hugh, who was not very nice. So Isabella found herself abandoned by everyone on a battlefield as the Scottish armies prepared to march on her palace. She pulled through, returned to London, and found that Edward had confiscated everything that was hers, including her children, entrusted to political enemies. Retirement. Return to France. Organization of an army and assembly of ships. Off to England. Military victory. Arrest of nasty husband and bulky boyfriend.

Hugh was quartered by horses, hanged, disemboweled and beheaded. His head adorned London Bridge for a while. Isabelle had Edward put in prison so as not to incur the wrath of his political supporters. Edward died in prison. Stabbing in the anus.

8. Chiomara

Galatian princess, Chiomara suffered, like the other tribes in the wrong place at the wrong time, from a conquest by the Roman armies. She was captured by a regiment and her beauty did not go unnoticed. So not unnoticed that a centurion, who had lost his mind, decided to rape her quietly. Seized by a false good idea of ​​a clever man, the centurion did not kill her, but offered to send her home on the condition of receiving a ransom of gold in exchange. The Galatians accepted. Everyone found themselves on a vacant lot to make the exchange. While the centurion’s tocardo was counting the sorrel, Chiomara with a very calm little word incited the nationals of his tribe to cut off his head. The centurion lost his mind again.

Chiomara picked up the centurion’s head and carried it in her robe, going home to show it to her husband, a way of saying “you can’t test”.

9. Lakshmi Bai

Born in 1835 in India, Lakshmî Bâî, who can be considered as the princess with the greatest number of circumflex accents in her name, learned during her youth the handling of the sword, the bow and the guns. She was the daughter of an Indian prime minister.

She was married at 12 to some nice raja who had the good taste to die shortly after the couple had adopted a kid. The English, who occupied India and considered that Bâî was not of royal blood, confiscated his lands. It was not cool cool, as can testify some the reaction of Lakshmi Bâî, who recruited an army including women soldiers to obtain the independence of India. Then it’s the severe caning. Lakshmi eventually died shooting the man who had shot him in the back.

10. Chelidonis and Arachidamia

The story of Chelidonis and Arachidamia is told by Plutarch. An old Spartan nobleman had pulled off the stunt of his life by marrying Cleonymus, a young and beautiful Spartan noblewoman. There was no joy at home, and Chelidonis ended up falling in love with her great-nephew. The old nobleman decided to go and gather an army to take revenge for this unbearable liaison. In general, 25,000 soldiers, 2,000 horses and 25 elephants are enough to kill a couple. The Spartans, who saw the mass coming from afar, considered that it might be better to leave the good women out of all this. But Arachidamia, another princess, entered the Senate with a sword in her hand and threatened to kill all the senators if the women couldn’t fight.

Meanwhile, Chelidonis had installed a complex rope system to hang between the door of his room and his neck, so that the impromptu arrival of the old fart would be synonymous with death.

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