On paper, this trend of caring and positive education looks really good. And even if you really wish you could apply it on a daily basis, in reality it’s hotter than it looks, and it requires a lot more self-control than you are capable of having. But it does not matter huh, we all do as we can.
1. Don’t shout
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That was your number one wish. Don’t scream when you see him drawing on the walls, don’t yell when he throws his fire truck on the flat screen, don’t scream when you see him tearing tufts of his little sister’s hair. But in real life, you couldn’t suppress your cries.
2. Let him solve his problems
“But if my darling, you can manage to put on your shoes on your own, we have time”. Except that in real life you should already have been at work for 25 minutes, and you quickly put on your kid’s velcro sneakers, which takes 108 years to put them on by himself. Independence, yes, but not on Monday mornings when you’re in a hurry.
3. Do not criticize his performance
“Your drawing is magnificent, I love the mix of colors, you can be proud of yourself my darling”. No. It’s ugly, it’s an accumulation of squiggles, it clutters the fridge door, and you’re tired of having the impression of living in a Picasso without talent.
Also, if you have ugly children’s drawings to send us, don’t hesitate because we have planned a weekly meeting, it’s so disgusting.
4. Apologize when you yell at her
“Excuse me baby, mum had a big day and she shouldn’t have gotten upset.” myth. Your precious cherub has just cut all the brand new towels in half with a pair of scissors, and you’re really pissed off, it’s normal to yell.
5. Do not blackmail
“If you play for an hour in your room this morning instead of waking me up at 6 a.m., you’ll get candy.” Hard not to do emotional blackmail when you know that’s the only way to get extra hours of sleep in your warm bed while he plays in his room.
6. Not punishing him
When he just said 4 swear words in a row, threw his dinner plate on the floor and ate the cat’s tail to see if he was going to meow (spoiler: yes, he meowed). But in these cases, the parents are not supposed to kick him out, they have to keep calm and explain things to him calmly. Well good luck huh.
7. Don’t get upset
When he still hasn’t brushed his teeth when it’s 8:28 a.m. and school closes in two minutes, he drags his paw to go, stopping to look at all the pigeons in the street, that he tells you that he wants to poop halfway through the trip and that it’s raining. Hard to stay calm there.
8. Being able to meet their needs
And immediately, please. Even when you’re cooking when you’ve just come home after an 8-hour day’s work with almost no pee breaks, and you only dream of one thing: to fuck yourself in your pajamas on the couch. with a glass of wine while eating crisps. But there, before all that, you have to play dinette, and with a smile, please.
9. Listen to the child
Even when you don’t have time, even when you don’t feel like it, even when he says things that aren’t really urgent, even when he cuts you off, even when you’re on the phone with your boss, even when you ‘re pissing. Well no, you can’t do it, sometimes when it doesn’t want it, it doesn’t want it.
10. Accompany him in his crises
He’s rolling on the floor in the aisles of the supermarket, screaming as if he’s been slit? Well, even if you want to leave him there and hide in the cheese department, you’re supposed to be with him at this moment, which is just a complicated frustration for him to manage, poor little one. Whereas in real life, you have only one desire: the cum on your shoulder, run out of the store and never leave your house again before you turn 17.