Like any good Parisian, the editor of this top likes to complain. And what could be more Parisian than bitching about Parisians? That’s why we’re going to make you enjoy our usual bad mood by telling you about the different tribes that you can meet in the capital.
1. The man in a hurry
In costume from Monday to Sunday, he has only one objective in life: to run. We don’t know where he’s going but he seems determined to go there, and he’s ready to do anything not to be slowed down. He still has his airpods screwed on his ears, and he talks, he talks, he talks. We don’t know to whom, but it seems very important, too important to say sorry when he pushes you because you have the misfortune to get in his way.
2. The trendy in search of originality
He wears trendy clothes and you struggle to grasp the concept of his clothing style. He likes electro, street art, Konbini and always talks to you about a “nice little club” he discovered in a dark corner in the north of Paris. His dream is to live in the 19th arrondissement and meet Maïwenn and Louis Garrel.
3. The Latin Quarter Student
Always clean and well dressed, he makes you want to throw bolognese sauce at her face. He smokes, he drinks, he says “Greek” and “pain au chocolat”. He has rarely left the Ile de France and when you come from the provinces, he looks at you with big worried eyes: “oh la la! but you come a long way! “. When he doesn’t have class, he hangs out at Starbucks with his Mac and iPhone.
4. Old Neuilly
It haunts line 10. Madame clutches her small Chanel handbag very tightly because “the neighborhood has changed over the past few years”. His favorite occupation is to complain, to push in the subway, not to say sorry and to deplore the rudeness of today’s young people. The highlight of her day is Kiki’s walk. No, the old man won’t pick up the droppings.
5. The bobo
He hides his bourgeois origins under beautiful leftist ideas. He likes organic, gluten-free and films in Serbo-Croatian with Spanish subtitles. He loves to feel close to the people, which is why he sometimes ventures to the Saint-Ouen market. But be careful, not too close either eh, should not exceed the border of the ring road.
6. The Sportsman
You can recognize him by the smell of perspiration he trails behind him. It invades all the parks and squares of Paris. He does everything: jogging, tai chi, tennis, gym. Then he takes the metro with his huge sports bag and makes the whole train enjoy his body odor. Despite his dream body, his mania for always eating healthy makes him detestable.
7. The Intellectual
He had read Bourdieu at 7 and Roland Barthes at 12. He loves literary prizes, auteur films and Télérama. Although he never left his house, he decided he knew everything. Proud to be part of the elite, he never fails to spread his culture with great quotes. But we all know that, basically, he spends his day in front of Netflix.
8. Fat Rich
He studied law, business school and UMP youth. He never leaves the sacred enclosure of Neuilly, Auteuil, XVIth arrondissement. When he escapes, he has the impression of discovering a foreign country. The little sweater casually placed on the shoulders, he talks about economy, finance and globalization. He always boxes three English words per sentence which makes him want to eat his rolex.
9. The couple
He took Paris for his bedroom. “Oh mammy! Have you seen the Eiffel Tower?! It’s so romantic!!! and off we went again for a long kissing session. We hear them coming from afar thanks to the “slurp slurp” that characterizes them. Sometimes they mimic sexual positions when they kiss in the parks, lying close together. We wish them mononucleosis.
10. The Parisian
His god is called Inès de la Fressange. Her main occupation is to make believe that she dresses in haste while her style is very studied. At the same time, we could have guessed: she is the only person in the world whose hair never curls despite the Parisian rain. She loves wine, active life and marinières.
11. (bonus) The Normal
Paris is 90% filled with normal people. Amazing isn’t it?