Being lazy isn’t just a bad thing: it’s a whole way of life to adopt. Not everyone can wake up one morning and say “today I’m going to be lazy”, mainly because real lazy people don’t get up in the morning but at 2pm. Fortunately, we have plenty of stuff for lazy people. Most of the easy sports, for example (you’re not going to tell me that riding is a sport when the horse does all the work) but also a lot of professions.
In an orchestra, there are lots of people playing instruments and it seems super complicated. And then there is the conductor. Just in the name of the job, we understand that the guy has the melon, call yourself “super mega handsome boy of the orchestra” while you’re at it. Basically, the conductor waves his arms randomly to pretend he’s leading something but we’re not stupid, we know it’s just for style.
2. Middle/High School Lab Assistant
In all high schools in France, there was a laboratory assistant who helped SVT and Physics-Chemistry teachers prepare their lessons and their weird experiments. Basically, these are people who wash beakers and mix water and sugar. Me too I can do it huh (no it’s wrong I had 7 average in Chemistry).
DJs are people who throw it. They are cheered every time they press a button and have lots of little gestures to make it look like they are working. They put their headphones on one ear and press it down with one hand, close their eyes to sound super intense, and add bass when they’re out of ideas. Not so difficult.
4. Airport Ramp Agent
Everyone is convinced that airport ramp agents have a real job, but that’s not true, they’re only there for decoration. As it is not serious to have an empty track, they put people in yellow vests with glow sticks. I swear, these people don’t know what they’re doing at all.
5. Game tester
Who hasn’t dreamed of being able to get paid to play video games? It’s such a dream to spend days stumbling in front of a screen, having to report all the bugs and issues of the game… Brilliant.
6. 4th soccer referee
Being a 4th referee in football is like being a substitute delegate in 3rd B, you don’t give a fuck. It’s very nice to wear an additional time board and manage the substitutes, but we could have asked 14-year-old kids to do it. A bit like the ball boys at Roland-Garros.
7. Lifeguard at Olympic Games swimming events
Lifeguards near swimming pools during the Olympics are probably not the most overworked people. Kind of like Teddy Riner’s bodyguard actually, they’re just there for decoration.
8. Airplane Pilot
Since there is an autopilot on all planes, we are entitled to say that the pilots do not jerk off much. We should call them plane “takeoffs” or “landers”, it would be much more logical.
We all agree that librarians are the most hidden people in the college. They live in slow motion, store books in alphabetical order and participate in ALL school trips by eye. Please stop making fun of us.
10. Sports coach
Just like the PE teacher, the sports coach forces you to play sports without moving your buttocks. He’s often in a tracksuit when it’s super hot, he shouts to motivate you and you pay way too much for him. Luckily they are there.
How hard is it to become an airplane pilot? Ridiculous…