Hi fans of the bespectacled wizard, it’s been a long time since we met here, in a cool place, to talk a little magic. And today I wanted to share with you a little thing that bothers me (no, it’s not about this strange growth that I spotted in my right buttock, for that I already have a doctor.) I mean here is Justice in the world of Harry Potter. Because you all know Azkaban, the prison of wizards, and you know that some characters have spent a more or less long stay there (Sirius Black, Hagrid, Lucius Malfoy…). But, in reality, many other characters would have deserved to have a look there, or even to languish there forever. Yes, I know, this will annoy some, but you’ll have to get used to it: the wizarding world is horrible and full of scum.
1. Romilda Vane, for trying to catch Harry with love potions
Remember, in The Half-Blood Prince, Romilda had offered a box of chocolates to Harry to try to catch the “chosen one”. Finally, it was Ron who ate the chocolates and suddenly found himself in love with Romilda without even knowing her. If we had to find an equivalent to the love potion in the Muggle world, it would clearly be GHB, and we can safely say that Romilda should have ended up behind bars for a few years.
2. Lucius Malfoy for attempting Avada Kedavra on Harry
So yes, Lucius Malfoy had a short stay in Azkaban between the fifth and sixth films before escaping with some Death Eaters, but he should have been there long before. From the end of the second film, in fact, simply because he tried to launch a Avada Kedavra on Harry at the time of Dobby’s release. Fortunately for Harry, the elf stopped him, but it’s still called attempted murder, and it normally gives the right to direct access for the zonzon.
3. Hagrid, for endangering students with his creatures
Between his hippogriff which almost killed Draco Malfoy, his firecracker scrouts (unfortunately absent from the films) which were none other than walking bombs in The Goblet of Fire, and the dragon he raised illegally in first year, Hagrid is none other than a sick man who is dangerous for the kids. Ah yes, I was going to forget the time he sent Harry and Ron to a nest of giant spiders, and that other time he asked them to take care of a wayward giant. Really, the guy deserved to live in the shade for quite a while.
4. Arthur Weasley for letting his kids drive a flying car.
He may be nice, but the guy still broke the law an incredible number of times by tampering with Muggle items while working in the government department responsible for monitoring such offenses. It’s a bit as if a Muggle Budget Minister had been guilty of tax evasion: it’s not done. But where Dad Weasley completely freaked out was when he let his kids drive a flying car twice. Totally irresponsible, dude.
5. James Potter for becoming an animagus illegally
Sirius Black has already taken a lot for nothing, so we’ll leave him alone. Same for Pettigrew because he’s done worse than that in his life. But James Potter, he who played model dads, well he should have at least gone before the judge for illegal practice of magic. Animagus must be registered in an official registry, and he didn’t play the game. Sorry, but for me it’s hello Dementors and goodbye freedom.
6. Gilderoy Lockhart, for forgery and use of forgery, and mutilation on student
Lockhart ended up in St. Mungo’s Hospital for trying to erase the memories of two Hogwarts students, so it’s safe to say karma has taken its toll on him. However, even before this accident, he should have found himself in jail, and this for at least three reasons. First, for having erased the memories of a bunch of people against their will, then for having stolen their stories in order to make a false CV, and finally for having removed the bones from Harry’s arm following his Quidditch injury. . Of course, we could also accuse Dumbledore of not having checked his CV better (frankly, he is really lame as a director, this guy), but the biggest faults go to this BG of Gilderoy.
7. Harry and Hermione, for helping the country’s most wanted criminal escape
Yes, I know what you’re going to say: Sirius Black is innocent, so the kids did well. Certainly. Nevertheless, in the eyes of Magical Justice, Harry’s godfather has always been guilty. He was even the equivalent of a terrorist. However, when you help a terrorist, you normally find yourself in the closet. So, are we less smart about the binoclard?
8. Draco Malfoy
There’s another one who clearly should have ended up in Azkaban for terrorist conspiracy, and that’s none other than good old Draco. The guy literally arranged the logistics of an assassination (which he planned to carry out himself), and yet he fell through the drops at the end of the Hogwarts War. No one said to themselves: “Hey little Malfoy, there, shouldn’t he be paying for his crimes?” » No, strangely, everyone forgot it. Worse, everyone forgave him just because he quickly changed sides at the end. Really quick, too. It’s shocking.
9. Vernon and Petunia Dursley, for child abuse
A priori, I do not need to convince you on this point: Harry Potter’s uncle and aunt mistreated him for years and obviously deserve prison. The real question, then, is whether they should have ended up in Muggle jail or Azkaban. There, I leave you to judge. But, since they have always despised magic, a short stay with the Dementors would surely have put them in perspective. Yes, it’s harsh, but they started it.
10. Severus Snape
There will always be an army of cranks to defend him, but the truth is there: Severus Snape is a piece of trash who deserved to be tough. Of course, he paid for being a Death Eater, and no one will question that. On the other hand, absolutely nothing justifies the mistreatment he inflicted on his students, and in particular on Neville, whose rat he nevertheless more or less threatened to kill. And then we must not forget that he still stumbled upon Dumbledore. Whether or not you agree with the old headmaster, you don’t kill people if you’re not qualified to do so, even when they politely ask you to. Not convinced? I don’t know what more you need, but I’ll give it to you anyway: Snape helped the Death Eaters escape after they broke into Hogwarts. Intrusion, which, beyond causing Dumbledore’s death, allowed Greyback to turn Bill Weasley into a werewolf. Even when you work undercover, you don’t help terrorists that much. In short, if he hadn’t been killed by Voldemort, he would have had to be thrown into the dungeon without discussion.