You have done everything, tried everything to arrange your apartment as well as possible and save space, save money, yet you have no more space, you bump into every corner of your home and you dare not go see if it’s dust or a dead rat sticking out from under your dresser. Do not panic. Sometimes there are drastic decisions to be made and this guide will explain what furniture you can objectively throw out the window in order to live your best life.
1. The box spring
It’s already super expensive for a box spring, much too expensive for what it is, since your floor will do just as well: it’s flat. So yes, it’s not necessarily optimal for airing the mattress, but it’s better for the back. Anyway, I don’t know, but if you start criticizing the ideas from the first point, we’re not going to get out of it.
2. The bedside table
Honestly, what do you put in there? Condoms and a novel you’ll never read? Exactly. Plus now that you’ve thrown away your box spring, your mattress is closer to floor level, so you can put your stuff right on the hardwood/tile floor. Don’t thank me, but congratulate yourself.
3. The library
Already reading is useless, then books are expensive, they take up space and above all we tend to buy 1000 to read none, as if the objective was not to create a culture, but a Fnac department in his living room. Stop lying to yourself, throw everything away and you will recover a significant amount of space to store nothing at all.
4. The dining table
Why do you think we have knees? To eat on it, exactly. The knees perfectly match the shape of some plates, so burn down that table and dance on its ashes. When you receive guests, they will adapt to your customs and keep their mouths shut like when they visit another country or go somewhere else. Kind to them.
5. The dressing room
STOP BUYING DAMN CLOTHES. I’m sorry, I get carried away, but be honest, you’re going to wear this once and it’s going to go away. Vinted as quickly as it happened. The best way to stop buying clothes (which don’t suit you at all) is to get rid of your closet. Sell the piece of furniture on the app and become a big Vinted jerk yourself.
6. The fridge
Fridges are useless, it’s just the best way to mold stuff that you throw away when the expiry date has passed for three months. Buy food from day to day, less waste, more space and above all you finally get rid of this fridge that smells of old ass for six years because you made the mistake once of bringing back a cheese from Auvergne.
7. The armchair / the sofa
Do you need that many seats? No. For the simple and good reason that you don’t have as many friends. Keep the essentials, a camping chair in your empty living room facing the TV. In any case, if you kept them, the armchairs and sofas would be smashed by stray cats who will squat in your home since you no longer store your food in a fridge.
8. The CD / DVD cabinet
Do you know the principle of streaming? Because it has more or less replaced CDs and DVDs, you can listen to music directly online and watch unlimited content. It’s boring because you have to pay but it takes up less space, so you can get rid of this stupid piece of furniture and the CDs / DVDs at the same time. Donate them to charity or something, but stash a coulommier in them for the joke.
9. The Office
When was the last time you really worked on your desk? Well, it happened once in telework and then you went to your sofa like everyone else. What are you waiting for to smash this piece of furniture with a baseball bat by freeing yourself from these chains that hold back your freedom and prevent you from living your life to the full?
10. Grandma’s buffet
Yes, it has sentimental value but no, it is useless and above all it is ugly. Old furniture weighs a ton, is made of wood that no longer exists today, it has dimensions without any logic and above all it stinks. Sell it right away, if it was left to you, no one wanted it anyway.