Well hello, it’s Friday, and Friday is the day of the teubés. So get ready for a good batch of idiots, morons, jerks and other ignoramuses. You have the right to laugh but don’t forget to take a little IQ test to find out if you too deserve to be part of this incredible selection. With that, I go looking for my dad who went to buy cigarettes 25 years ago. Bye.
1. Well, we’re sending him back to SVT class, aren’t we?
“What is a ‘vulva’?! It is neither a word nor a thing! Speak English. The word you are looking for is vagina, right? Because that’s what women have. Men have penises and testicles. Women have vaginas. »
2. The hospital that doesn’t give a damn about charity
Teacher Lloyd Llewellyn-Jone: “Why does Alice Roberts feel the need to use her academic title on the cover of her new book? We just don’t do that at serious universities. It’s kind of sad, and it suggests both insecurity and an inflated ego. A curious mix…”
3. Earth’s Worst Customer
“_ Hi, if you’re not a sheep who wears a mask I’ll give you a tip of 15 dollars. I’m just trying to make sure people aren’t sheep.
_ Hey Timothy, I’m sorry but my health matters more than $15. I’m on my way now.
_ Ok then I will leave you a bad opinion filthy leftist
_ Thank you. I left your food on the doorstep. Merry Christmas !
_ Have fun living on unemployment after I get you fired. »
4. What is this gunned-down unit of measurement?
“A sinkhole the size of six to seven washing machines has blocked the northbound lanes of State Line Road near 100th Street in Kansas City, Missouri. »
“Americans prefer to use any system of measurement rather than the metric system”
5. This person terrifies me
“Did I turn my boyfriend into a vampire?!?”
So I have a new boyfriend and we’ve been seeing each other for about a month now. Anyway, the other night we were running a marathon Twilight (I LOVE Twilight) and one of my dreams is to have a vampire boyfriend!
I’ve been trying to drink my own blood since the books came out Twilight – I consider myself a vampire now – I usually save the blood that I shed naturally each month (I keep tampons in the freezer, etc.) and just suck on them and eat them later.
I decided to try to “transform” my new boyfriend. So I cooked my blood in his food every time he came – I’ve also tried making blood sausage, but that only works when I have a heavy flow (you need a LOT of blood) – so I usually just add a little blood in marinade or pasta sauce etc etc. He has absolutely no idea about any of this.
I’ve been doing this for 3-4 weeks, do you think he might be a vampire now? >.
6. Does he really think they call him that out of affection?
Mark Zuckerberg says Meta employees ‘affectionately’ give him the nickname ‘Eye of Sauron’
7. One of the biggest turds the planet has worn
“After Voting Against Insulin Price Drop, Matt Gaetz Says Americans With Diabetes Should Just Lose Weight”
8. Franz Ferdinand in PLS
“Today I started the course on the First World War. A student raised her hand and referred to the death of a certain Archduke. No one knew his name, so as a hint I said he shared his name with a band. Imagine, at readers, my students asked me if there was a Metallica Archduke. »
9. Hence the interest of contraception
“My child peed in the humidifier. There’s urine sprayed all over the fucking surfaces in the room. »
10. Damn, even lions are dumb
They start fighting amongst themselves over who will eat the buffalo first, and meanwhile the buffalo runs away quietly.
If you liked the teubés, you’ll love the champions of the week.
Source: Facepalm, Dumb, IdiotFightingThings, KidsAreFuckingStupid, Quityourbullshit, Stupidpeopleonfacebook, Win Stupid Prizes, Trashy, mildlyinfuriating, karmaa.