Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #403

Hi my frankfurters, how are you doing today? You don’t pick up too much the day before? We’re fine, it’s Sunday and it’s rest (in real life it’s Friday when I write this top, so I project myself into the future thinking that it will be fine while maybe in the meantime I will have caught the shit), but I digress. It’s Sunday and so it’s time for the champions of the week, these miscellaneous facts that we find every week in part thanks to @justetitre, this tireless reader of the press.

1. In Auray, attempted burglary on the duck fishing stand

Topito’s analysis: Already stealing is a good bastard thing, but from there to attacking the duck fishing stand must not have race. When you want to have the badly made Mickey plush, you participate in the game, you don’t try carrots…

An attempted burglary took place at the duck fishing stand, installed on Place Notre-Dame, in Auray, on the night of Tuesday 25 to Wednesday 26 October. A first for the two managers. ?

Posted by Le Télégramme Vannes on Wednesday, October 26, 2022

2. By mistake, Cali’s new songs are on the latest Wampas record

Topito’s analysis: Far be it from me to criticize Cali since in the end I don’t know what he does, but it always sucks when you buy an album and end up with another one, whatever it is.

3. Nîmes: fan of rapper Jul, the defendant denies the middle fingers to the police

Topito’s analysis: If it turns out he was really doing the JUL sign and the cops thought he was giving them a big fuck. If so, a year in prison is expensive, but it’s not up to us to judge, since we’re not judges.

4. A well-known painting by Mondrian hung upside down… For 77 years

Topito’s analysis: 77 years to understand that the thing was upside down means above all that the painting was not clear at the start, but suddenly that must probably change the whole understanding of the work, or not.

5. Meuse: they break into a funeral parlor in the middle of the night and leave with two hearses

Topito’s analysis: Must say that of all the stuff you can steal from a funeral home, it wasn’t the strangest, and driving a hearse must have a fun side. A kind of big go-kart, with coffins in it. After that, it’s still theft, don’t do that.

6. Halloween night: they were chasing passers-by with a running chainsaw in Chatte

Topito’s analysis: Completely knows this idea, probably the best way to end your evening at the station with a good fine, if not more. You just have to eat candy, dress up and watch horror movies that night actually.

7. A Brussels police inspector would work as a sex worker: an open investigation

Topito’s analysis: Combining two jobs can be complicated, you really have to organize yourself well on the schedule but above all you have to make the right choice of professions, there it was not necessarily compatible.

8. Halloween: Canadian Couple Arrested For Giving Cannabis Candy To Children

Topito’s analysis: Yes, so we call it drugging people without their knowledge, and it’s not a funny concept at all. Even less on children. It changed Halloween, right?

9. Court of Appeal of Versailles: he managed to escape with a coffee stirrer

Topito’s analysis: There frankly it is a feat, it’s not to say but to succeed in escaping thanks to a coffee stirrer it promises a great career as a magician. In prison, on the other hand, but a great career all the same.

10. “My criminal record scares me myself”: still drunk on his scooter, a Bayonnais gets a year in prison

Topito’s analysis: We can at least recognize in this person a certain lucidity about his own condition. On the other hand, you have to stop driving drunk, every week we have one in the champions and it’s a little scary.

This repeat offender, sick with alcohol, got on his two-wheeler to go shopping 300 meters away. The Bayonne court sent him behind bars on Monday, October 31

Posted by on Monday, October 31, 2022

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