Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #402

Hey guys, how are you on this Halloween Sunday? We’re fine, we’ve planned to roll around under a plaid and watch movies that will make you cringe while eating sweets, stuff like “The Conjuring”, “Shining” and Inès Reg’s film. But for now it’s time to talk about the champions of the week, these improbable miscellaneous facts that we find every week in part thanks to this friendly @adjustedtitle.

1. La Rochelle: the dealer “relieved” to be arrested

Topito’s analysis: Finally, we can’t really imagine the pressure behind this job. Finally “job”, it’s illegal what, suddenly inevitably the pressure is omnipresent but he could also stop himself and avoid legal problems.

Sentenced to two years in prison for cocaine trafficking, the dealer said he was “relieved”. He didn’t know what to do with his money

Posted by on Monday, October 24, 2022

2. The firefighters intervene for a suspicion of intoxication, the students were actually hungover

Topito’s analysis: When you see students without energy during business school classes, you don’t really have to look any further than a general hangover, I don’t even know how they could have thought of an intox.

3. Children’s fire truck recalled for… fire hazard

Topito’s analysis: Already a children’s toy that can pose fire risks, it’s super boring, but if it’s also a fire truck, it becomes grotesque. When you see how children play with stones you wonder if they really need all these toys.

4. Bangladesh: a burglar calls the police for help at the scene of his crime

Topito’s analysis: Can you imagine that magical moment when the guy finally decided to call the cops to come free him from the place he was trying to rob? It takes a lot of strength of character to accept so much to pass for an idiot.

5. Whiskey, prawns and cocktail sausages: he is found drunk after spending the whole night in a supermarket

Topito’s analysis: It happens quite often that people find themselves stuck in supermarkets, and in this case they do what we would all do: they eat and they drink to pass the time.

6. Japan: A store mistakenly sells plastic pastries

Topito’s analysis: The “by mistake” has a little flavor of foutage of mouth, because one can clearly rather quickly see that pastries are out of plastic do not mess around.

7. Saint-Pierre: an orgy organized in the canteen of the fire station, an investigation is underway

Topito’s analysis: Frankly… This is where we eat guys. Really no respect people. And if there had been a fire alarm somewhere in the city, can you imagine seeing the delay generated by the orgy explained?

8. Environmental activists stick to the floor of a Porsche showroom, the boss ignores them and they stay 42 hours in the hangar

Topito’s analysis: The boss clearly didn’t have the time, he’s there to sell Porsches and make big money, not to get babies off his floor at the same time.

After almost a night without sleeping in a hangar of the automibile brand, the activists were able to be taken off the ground to be directly arrested by the police

Posted by La Dépêche du Midi on Tuesday, October 25, 2022

9. The ugliest lawn contest held in Sweden

Topito’s analysis: And finally why not? Normal contests aren’t bad, but bullshit contests are even better, and there I really like this choice of subject for a contest.

10. They buy their dream house…and come across 22 rotting cats

Topito’s analysis: 22 cats. Seriously, finding one or two is disgusting and weird, but 22… It’s a cemetery, it’s not possible, it was clearly the house of a strange Satanist sect, nobody has that many cats. Correction: nobody has that many dead cats.

Come on, happy Halloween to you and see you next week.

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