Hi my bee hives, how are you on this beautiful Sunday at the start of the holidays? Yeah, I’m having a break today walking through the enchanted mountains of the Alps and I’m letting my colleagues manage with the tops, the champions of the week and the camembert that I stashed in the radiator next to Louise’s desk, the my least favorite colleague. Anyway, it’s my last duty before departure, to give you the list of champions of the week, these unusual miscellaneous facts that we find in part thanks to @adjustedtitle.
1. Perpignan: he gets stuck in a trash can, the firefighters intervene
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Topito’s analysis: What was he originally trying to do? The story doesn’t say it, or maybe it does but I’m packing my suitcase at the same time so I didn’t check. But try not to bullshit the firefighters, they have work to do.
2. A thief hides inside a giant teddy bear to avoid getting busted
Topito’s analysis: The idea is not completely absurd or null, or even absurd. It was a good hideout, but he got busted anyway. How many different pants do you take when you go on vacation for two weeks?
3. They get married at the McDo of the ZAC de Mercières, the staff sprinkles their car with champagne
Topito’s analysis: Here is finally a marriage which has the mouth, it is nevertheless something other than these receptions with caterers, arbours and fifty minutes of wait between each tiny dish which one eats in twelve seconds.
4. Drôme: Arrested for his first day as a dealer in Valence
Topito’s analysis: If we put his illegal activity in comparison with a normal job, we can still say that he was fired on his first day of work. The good news is that since he was obviously not made for that, he will be able to think about another activity.
5. Lozère: a new world record for the duck dance
Topito’s analysis: On the one hand you really have to stop with the bullshit world records and on the other hand the duck dance was never cool, even when the music was released. We already suffer enough every day to inflict such things on ourselves.
6. London: Chess players compete in apnea at the bottom of a swimming pool
Topito’s analysis: They better play fast. Well, I don’t really have a valve. I don’t know anything about chess and the last time I went to the pool a kid had shit in the deep end so good.
7. A Canadian minister swallows a bee in the middle of a press conference
Topito’s analysis: And it’s boring for several reasons: first because it’s more or less protected the bees, then because it can sting the throat and become very serious, moreover it makes her a little bad when you’re a minister and finally it really, really tastes bad, its mother bees.
8. Japan: drunk, a policeman loses confidential documents concerning 400 people including a criminal suspect
Topito’s analysis: It always hurts her to do something stupid at work when you’re drunk, because it’s more or less professional misconduct. But there are still jobs where it’s more serious than others to be drunk, policeman but also airplane pilot or diving teacher.
9. Spain: filmed without knowing it by television, he steals a bag on a beach in Barcelona
Topito’s analysis: They really stop at nothing these journalists, always there to meddle in what does not concern them to sell newspapers by preventing the good people from doing their job. Well, it was the work of a thief for once so it’s not so bad but still, it’s abused to film people like that.
10. Triathlon: a runner collapses from cramps as he proposes to his girlfriend
Topito’s analysis: It’s stupid because the timing was not too bad, after a great sporting achievement, wanting to propose was original. But that doesn’t give a damn, it’s a bit of an idiot and above all I hope that his partner said no, don’t marry a nullos.