Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #382

hello my little chocolate chip buns, how are you on this beautiful Sunday in June? We are not going too badly, even if those who follow this appointment every week must begin to think that my introduction is very similar to each issue. We don’t have much to say to each other, you and me finally… Well, I’m going to move on to the champions, these miscellaneous facts that we find every week in part thanks to this good old @adjutetitre, hoping that our unilateral relationship evolves a little in the future.

1. The skinner from Montauban is a candidate for the 2022 legislative elections

Topito’s analysis: When someone who has been in prison for 24 years for murder and visibly “butchering” presents himself to the legislative elections, we begin to understand that it is soon the end. Courage it will not be very long.

2. Seine-et-Marne: he is checked at almost 200 km / h before breaking down

Topito’s analysis: The tile, the bullshit, the air con. The faster you drive, the more fuel you consume at the same time, so there is a form of logic behind the fact of ending up in the harbor caught by the gendarmes.

“It’s nothing, it goes up to 273 km / h”, he confided to his mother who came to pick him up. In the meantime: no more permits and a week of pound at his expense

Posted by Le Parisien on Wednesday, June 8, 2022

3. A van found parked in an apartment building

Topito’s analysis: My analysis is that the owners are looking to resell their apartment and it is their technique to make people believe that there is a garage space with the accommodation. Anyway, I believe in it.

4. A “death aperitif”, organized this Wednesday at the Levrette café in Bourges, to evoke mourning in a different way

Topito’s analysis: Nothing goes: the “coffee doggy style”, “the aperitif of death” and the evocation of mourning in a bar… Strange concepts that do not necessarily go together, but what do you want, I love evenings at theme.

5. His wife cooks instant noodles for him every meal, he files for divorce

Topito’s analysis: There was another less radical solution, which was to put himself in the kitchen and not rely on his wife to feed him, but obviously we’re not talking about someone who thinks a lot.

6. Scientists accidentally create a horde of violent hamsters

Topito’s analysis: Where will the madness of men and their completely insane thirst for experiences stop? Violent hamsters I’m pretty sure was one of the signs of the apocalypse in the Mayan calendar.

7. Angry after a couple’s argument, he smashes antique pottery worth $5 million

Topito’s analysis: Even if it means farting stuff as much as tackling things that cost nothing, you have to go fart stuff at Stock for example, not in a museum or at someone who has collectibles, otherwise it costs a lot of confusion.

8. Moto GP: Spaniard Aleix Espargaro stops one lap before the end believing the race is over

Topito’s analysis: What nonsense, what a mistake… The guy thought he had won and started to slow down to show off when it was the penultimate moment… Too bad for him, but there’s a lesson to be learned.

9. Hendaye: when trying to get his jet-ski out of the water, his Porsche slips into the port

Topito’s analysis: We can never say it enough but the problems of the rich are real problems. Personally, I’m really upset to hear this sad news, a car like that ending up in the port, it’s dramatic.

? Oops…. The owner, who wanted to get his jet-ski out of the water, couldn’t do anything when his car started to slip on the algae that lined the lower part of the hold

Posted by SudOuest.fr on Tuesday, June 7, 2022

10. Spain: The postman did not deliver the mail, more than 20,000 letters found at his home

Topito’s analysis: A thief and collector factor, which can be a bit annoying for people waiting for important letters.

And see you next week my little gerbils.

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