Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #372

Hi my little rice bags, how are you? We are doing quite well my faith, we are happy as popes in paste as we say at home. You know it’s Sunday and Sunday is the day of the champions of the week. So without further ado I suggest you move on to the selection of the most stupid miscellaneous facts of the week that we find in part thanks to @adjustedtitle, someone he is very nice.

1. Le Mans: A rillette sandwich over 100m long, world record broken

Topito’s analysis: Every year they will do it again for us, it might be time to find another occupation at Le Mans because things are getting serious. It was fun the first year, but is there really nothing else you can do in this town to break your own record every year?

2. India: A leopard appears in a Mercedes factory, production halted for six hours

Topito’s analysis: Just an incident? Industrial spying ? The question remains but personally I think it’s a low blow from the Jaguar brand trying to screw up the Mercedes factories. And that is unfair competition.

3. A Brazilian singer refuses to fart and ends up in the hospital

Topito’s analysis: By trying too hard to believe that she was not farting, she was taken at her own game. Suddenly she was condemned to fart for months to clear her mind, at least that’s what my gastrologist uncle told me. . Yeah, maybe it’s not a real job.

4. Presidential: her sulphurous past discovered, a former porn actress ousted from Éric Zemmour’s party

Topito’s analysis: Ouch ouch ouch… It’s always sad to see that someone gets kicked out of a far-right party for an old saucepan. If even people on the far right don’t want you, that’s a really bad sign.

5. Dordogne: a village hall burglar arrested in the act of stealing toilet paper

Topito’s analysis: It’s true that PQ is useful and we use it every day. But even if it means stealing something and risking prison, you might as well steal something a little more expensive, right?

6. Joe Biden calls Putin a “butcher” after the invasion in Ukraine: “intolerable” remarks for the representative of the Tarn butchers

Topito’s analysis: So it’s nice to raise the shield to defend your profession, but this is not really the time to open it knowing that on the one hand more serious things are happening and on the other hand I doubt that this information reaches the ears of the two heads of state (and that they care).

7. He invites his relatives to the restaurant thinking that his wife was going to pay for everyone, she refuses

Topito’s analysis: That’s good for his face because inviting lots of people to eat thinking that someone else is going to pay is a nice technique of asshole. I hope he hit the bill for the trouble.

8. Petit-Quevilly. The burglar had taken camembert and pâté in his pockets

Topito’s analysis: We are on a good week for burglars, to believe that it is such a crisis that they are stealing basic necessities. TV screens and computers are overrated now, they just want to eat and wipe their ass.

9. After becoming a millionaire through porn, he becomes a priest

Topito’s analysis: If you ever don’t believe in redemption, this man could well make you change your mind because in terms of a surprising journey, you will easily admit that we haven’t seen better since Roselyne Bachelot went through 45 ministries without ever do something useful there.

10. A paralyzed patient regains speech: he asks for beer and metal

Topito’s analysis: A man who has a sense of priorities and whose recovery is a great pleasure. A good beer and metal to get back on your feet is not necessarily what doctors prescribe, but why not.

And we wish you a great week while waiting for next Sunday. As always, be careful not to screw up, you wouldn’t want to end up in next week’s champions.

Related Posts

error: Content is protected !!