Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #371

hello to all my little spring rolls (what I ate this afternoon, that’s my level of inspiration), how are you today? Not being able to get an answer from you, I’m going to assume that you’re fine but that you’re a little tired, so don’t move too much, sit down and enjoy this selection of the most stupid miscellaneous facts of this week, selection that we realize each time in part thanks to @adjustire, an anonymous hero that we advise you to follow on the networks.

1. United States: He attempts a glide with a rented Tesla and explodes it on the pavement

Topito’s analysis: So it’s true that these cars are futuristic, and that they are expensive, but at no time is it said that they can fly or even hover. You can imagine that on a rental car this somewhat stupid customer exposes himself to having to reimburse a hell of a lot of money, he burned his wings.

2. Loire-Atlantique: arrested with 1.82 g of alcohol in his blood as he went to McDonald’s in a dressing gown

Topito’s analysis: The worst part is that I can clearly understand what happened… He was drunk, he had the slab, he wanted a McDo, he was too lazy to get dressed, he took his car saying “it’s okay, I’m not too drunk” and that’s it. Classic Saturday night.

3. Six Nations Tournament: Did the trophy won by the XV of France end up at the bottom of the Seine?

Topito’s analysis: It was well worth making the French vibrate to recover the trophy and end up dropping it into the Seine. That being said now we’re pretty sure he’ll stay in France and that’s not such a bad thing.

4. “It’s unlivable”: overwhelmed by the noise of his neighbors, this Val-de-Marnais sleeps in the bike room

Topito’s analysis: The question that we can quite logically ask ourselves is what were his neighbors doing for this brave gentleman to come to bed in the bike room? Because apart from building a carnival in their living room I don’t see what can go beyond that.

5. Nantes: In the back, the passenger of the car was installed on a chair

Topito’s analysis: It’s stupid because the installation is not so badly screwed up in the picture, only the belt is really missing and it was doing it. Just avoid sudden braking. And to drive more than 5 km / h. Or get seen by the police. Otherwise it’s fine.

6. North: a stranger breaks into a school and teaches students

Topito’s analysis: Well the story is quite special because the gentleman in question later tried to do the same thing in another school, and he was known to the police. So it’s not super reassuring, but the strangest thing is that he wrote in Morse code on the board, that’s really scary.

7. Her cat dies, an influencer successfully clones her

Topito’s analysis: Never underestimate the love someone has for their cat and what they are willing to do to find it. A powerful love, stronger than anything and unconditional. On the other hand, the other way around is shit, the cat clearly doesn’t give a damn about his master and he would let him die with his mouth open. But they are so cute.

8. The drugs were stashed in the cups of the Nantes football club

Topito’s analysis: Football and drugs do not mix, mainly because they are two different careers and trying to reconcile them automatically leads to failure. Make a choice because otherwise this is what happens.

9. The serial “tyre puncture” near Nancy even punctured… his own tires

Topito’s analysis: The person has clearly been affected by puncture fever, a rare syndrome that does exist and which causes people to puncture tires without ever stopping, even if it means puncturing their own tires (which is a bit stupid).

10. A mother unknowingly chooses a name for her baby that means “poo.”

Topito’s analysis: It’s not so much the fact that it means “poo” that’s saddest, it’s the “without knowing it”. It means that this person didn’t even try to do a little research to find out the meaning of the first name, and that’s a bit of a shame. Especially for the baby.

And while waiting for next week you can go see the teubés of the week, I highly recommend it.

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