Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #367

Hi my little comfortable and warming slippers, how are you on this beautiful Sunday? We’re not too bad, we try not to think too much about this creepy and depressing daily life for the next ten minutes by focusing on the champions of the week if you feel like it, because we all need it a little. You’re starting to know the concept but I’ll remind you once again for the newbies, these are the most unusual miscellaneous facts of the week and we find them in part thanks to @justetitre this vagabond of the internets.

1. The largest Breton flag in the world displayed in Nantes

Topito’s analysis: At this point it’s more of a foot call or an attempt to get noticed, it’s literally arrogance. Already having the Castle of the Dukes of Brittany in the city was a bit of an overkill, but there it goes beyond anything we could imagine.

2. When European ministers charge their electric vehicles with generators that run… on diesel

Topito’s analysis: We arrive at the pinnacle of bullshit, the pinnacle of stupidity, the ultimate middle finger to humanity. We are constantly being given lessons on pollution and we see that. Want to laugh and cry at the same time, but then laugh again.

3. Mars: a strange pebble “in the shape of a sex-toy” spotted on the red planet, kingdom of pareidolia

Topito’s analysis: Mars, planet of pleasures if we are to believe this recent discovery by the Curiosity robot. It also looks strangely like a manual vacuum cleaner, but everyone sees what they want, it’s a bit like the Rorschach test stone version of space this image.

4. He stole coins from parking meters in Metz using… dog poop bags

Topito’s analysis: Here we are dealing with a real hacker, a kind of Mac Giver from the city of Metz who has found an original method to hold up parking meters. I won’t give you his technique, because you could get arrested too and that would be stupid, but there’s inventiveness.

5. Olympic Games 2022: penis frozen, Finn Remi Lindholm has to use a kettle to warm it up

Topito’s analysis: We can never say it enough but winter sports can really be dangerous. Well, it’s not quite the kind of accidents you think of first, I grant you. His equipment was not warm enough there and it could have been very serious, but don’t worry, the gentleman is fine.

6. Alps: drunk, he takes a ski slope by car to avoid the gendarmes and attacks a tracker

Topito’s analysis: There are sometimes times in life when you head roughly towards a shitty idea without really knowing why. This is a convincing example, because on the one hand driving drunk is stupid, driving on a ski slope is just as stupid, and mixing these two parameters for the sole purpose of escaping the police it’s the ultimate cocktail of bullshit.

7. An Australian woman films herself with a deadly little octopus in her hand

Topito’s analysis: Of course, as soon as you come across a very cute animal in the wild, the first thing to do is to take a picture with it, despite all the safety rules. But what is valid in the world is not valid in this country: Australia is a door to hell, you should never come into contact with any animal or plant there, everything is trying to kill you.

8. Cotes-d’Armor. At the Paimpol maritime school: a smoke detector causes… a fire outbreak

Topito’s analysis: That an object does not fulfill its mission is something that can happen, but to do the exact opposite of what it was created for is the ultimate paradox. A smoke detector that sets on fire is like a crutch that breaks your legs or a freezer that cooks food: it’s big shit.

9. Declared dead by mistake, a Breton must prove that she is alive

Topito’s analysis: Reading the title like that, you might think it’s the synopsis of Nicolas Cage’s next film, but no, it’s the preposterous story (I hate that word) of a Breton woman who is the victim of an error in administration. And if there is one entity more difficult to fight than any movie villain, it is the French administration. To fuck and discourage Thanos, the Avengers had only to ask him to renew his identity card in France.

– Ah Ma’am, we have a problem, you’re dead- Uh no- I’m afraid so- You see not- But the system says you are- Well the system is wrong- Prove it

Posted by 20 Minutes on Friday, February 18, 2022

10. Exceptional, a footballer scores a hat-trick against her side in… thirty minutes!

Topito’s analysis: That’s an average of one goal every ten minutes, which isn’t disgusting as a statistic. The problem is that obviously it wasn’t the right side of the field, it’s a bit of a mess. The triple tile.

I wish you a good Sunday and look forward to seeing you next week for even more stupid champions.

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