There are few things more satisfying than going to a restaurant (unless it’s a crap restaurant, of course). At the restaurant, you are the chef, you are the one who orders, and you are the one who eats without having to prepare anything. But we must not forget that there is a real chef in the kitchen, with real cooks; while you take it easy, they fuel to satisfy you. And it’s when choosing your dish on the menu that your relationship takes a turn: depending on what you order, you can either make their service quick and pleasant, or turn it into hell. Because yes, there are dishes that are extremely boring to cook. Dishes that chefs hate to prepare, even if they will never tell you.
“Uh so why do they put them on the menu of their restaurant if they don’t like to prepare them??? »
Because they are nice and like to please you. Don’t look for the little beast.
These little balls of floured potatoes are a delight for those who are lucky enough to have them on their plate, but also a torture for those who have to prepare them. Not that it’s difficult, but shaping each little gnocchi one by one takes forever, even for a good cook with good technique. Take the test next time at the restaurant: say out loud and intelligible: “Well listen Brigitte, I think I’m going to have some gnocchi”. You will hear sobs rising from the kitchens.
Cleaning artichokes is extremely tedious. On the hardness scale, it’s between “catching a tourista during a wonderful vacation in Bali” and “learning that you have incurable colorectal cancer”. We can understand that it puts off suddenly.
3. Roasted peppers
To make roasted peppers you will need:
– Carbonize the skin so that it is very black
– Wrap the peppers in plastic bags so that they smoke as they cool
– Remove all pieces of charred skin (which takes forever)
– Remove each seed inside the pepper (which takes so many shots)
– To cut
– Calling your wife and your child that you haven’t seen growing up since you’ve been taking care of your fucking roast peppers for 10 years.
4. Poached eggs
Chefs may have learned the technique from their first lessons in cooking school, but they are never safe from messing up a poached egg and overcooking the yolk. And screwing up a dish, for a chef, is almost like screwing up a child (except that the failed poached egg won’t start taking crack at 19).
5. A “well-done” steak
This time, it’s a little different: the steak “well done” is in itself nothing very complicated to prepare. On the other hand, he exasperates the chefs who all know that a steak should never be “well done”. A steak is made to be eaten blue, rare, even medium. It’s not made to become a tasteless sole. So if you order this, know that someone will be judging you very hard on the other side of the swinging door.
Shelling and removing shrimp excrement is as pleasant as surprising your partner (Brigitte) with another partner (Maurice, her colleague) than her legitimate partner (you). Think about this before ordering a dish containing fresh shrimp.
7. Fried calamari
Cleaning, gutting and peeling fresh, inky calamari is the most boring part of the job. Boring, and stinky. Like life. Yes it’s not going well at the moment sorry.
8. Anything that requires melting sugar
Most cooks like to work with sugar, but in a restaurant kitchen everything is always in motion and accidents happen quickly and the hot sugar sticks to the skin and leaves marks forever and then your wife leaves you because she finds that this scar on your arm is unsightly and she reveals to you that anyway she has been banging her colleague Maurice for 1 year who has a bigger car than yours as well as a subscription to the Jokari Club of Saint-Raphaël. In short, it sucks.
9. Cheese and charcuterie boards
In places that only offer that, it’s not a problem. But in restaurants that have lots of dishes including cheese/charcuterie boards, it’s much more difficult because the cooks have to stop everything they’re doing to take out 15 different products and cut out a few small pieces. of each. Strangely, it takes longer to make than cooked meals.
10. Mounted parts
“But sir, you are in a fish restaurant here”
“I will not move until I have my piece mounted”
Then you have to stop being annoying customers too.